Wednesdays?! We Don't Need No Stinkin' Wednesdays!

No tabasco sauce needed here. The following is guaranteed to be plenty spicy.

---I was truly honored that Roy Scheider chose to die on the day that I named "Jaws" as #8 on my list of Top 25 Favorite Films.

---Either that or there's a new jinx at work.

---Good news. I looked at the seven films still to come on my list and most of the stars are already dead.

---But, I would still give a word of warning out to the following: Tony Curtis, Shirley MacLaine, Al Pacino, and Eva Marie Saint.

---Having finally ended my boycott of the Super Bowl, I can safely tell you that my annual embargo against the Grammys is still intact.

---When they give a lifetime achievement award to the Baja Marimba Band, I will tune in.

---Enjoying my birthday dinner at Madeo's in West Hollywood on Monday, we noticed Tony Bennett sitting two tables away. So, if you were wondering whether this restaurant allows entrance to people wearing hair plugs, the answer would be in the affirmative.

---From the looks of the young lady Tony was with, he might have left his heart in San Francisco, but he picked up his Viagra at Rite Aid.

--- I love the fact that Moron Deluxe John Rocker has crawled out from under a rock to throw more people under the steroids bus.

---Now this is a real credible witness. Sort of like Lee Harvey Oswald telling the cops that JFK was assassinated by the Lennon Sisters.

---More hypocracy. Senators tripping over themselves to get their picture taken with Roger Clemens. These are the same guys who will be grilling him later today.

---Speaking of which, who the hell keeps a plastic bag full of bloody syringes for seven years??

---Now I'm convinced that I will be turned in for some college abuses by some roommate who has kept all my empty bottles of Afrin Nasal Spray.

---At least, we have the Mitchell Hearings to laugh at until all the sitcoms come back.

---Thank God the writers' strike is over. It's been tough singlehandedly holding up the level of cleverness coming out of Hollywood.

---Does this mean that Mavis Leno can stop writing Jay's jokes?

---Now we can all get to enjoy that next episode of Carpoolers.

---You get the impression that Hillary's campaign for President is now just like that Chinese food you've kept in the refrigerator since last Friday?

---I don't see anything stopping the Ba-lack Osama juggernaut now. There are just too many damn idiots out there who want to vote for him because he gives them "a good feeling."

---Which you can also get from a sex molester.

---This is just what America needs right now. Giving that pig Oprah, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton unlimited access to the White House bowling alley.

---By the way, if Obama Bin Laden gets in, will they be officially changing the name of the residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Discuss amongst yourselves.

---When you do the Pledge of Allegience to the Flag, you are supposed to stand. And put your right hand over your heart.

---That means you, too, Obama!

---We can only hope that all the shit they're hiding about Obooboo starts to come out now.

---For instance, that he would not vote "yes" or "no" on most Senate bills. Instead, he would keep his ass clean by simply saying "present."

---Like the fact that his spiritual advisor is connected to Louis Farrakhan.

---And how Ba-lack winds up with that big mansion he lives in.

---And how his wife once held up a Van Nuys liquor store with Todd Bridges.

---Okay, okay, I made up the last one.

---To those that think I am against a Black President, can I remind you all that I was a big, big supporter of President Palmer on "24."

---I guess Bill Clinton has to renew that Match.com subscription after all.

Dinner last night: Frankfurters.