Stupor Tuesday

I was hoping that my vote in the California Primary this morning would have been met with more fanfare. After all, as a "decline to state" voter, I got the right to ask for a Democratic ballot. And the actual chill that went down my spine when I punched the chad next to Hillary Clinton's name. But, I quickly reminded myself that I was not really voting for her as much as I was voting against Obama Bin Laden. Nevertheless, the whole thing was rather surreal. My voting place is in a synagogue. The electioneers working the table were even older than usual, which made me think that, given the setting, several had actually been at Moses' house for the High Holidays. When I asked for the requisite Democratic ballot, the old coot smiled broadly as if I was giving out 25 cent off coupons for Streit's Matzohs. I told him I was merely sampling the Kool Aid. It will be a long time before my refrigerator regularly features a smiley face pitcher on the top shelf.

Upon leaving the polling place, I realized that I was now guilty of doing exactly what I have chided others for doing. Not voting for someone, but voting against someone. But, I reconcile quickly that, if I were given better choices, I would not have to resort to such a hackneyed approach to my rights as an American.

While a Hillary vote was a major concession for yours truly, justification was not needed. I did not need to look further than the TV coverage of the Obama rally held at UCLA's Pauley Pavillion on Sunday. If I've already got a healthy list of 75 reasons why not to vote for Ba-lack Osama, I can now add about 50 more. And one big one. While His Majesty was not in attendance, his wife, Michelle, was, and I can predict that, if she does become First Lady, she will be one of the most hatest in history. Her speech was condescending, scolding, and shrill, as if you got in the wrong line at the DMV. She professed that she plans to have a big mouth when it comes to Washington, DC, and I thank her for the warning. From the snippets I saw of her UCLA appearance, she is thoroughly lacking in any class. She came off like Daniel Day Lewis' character in "There Will Be Blood." I think she drinks our milk shakes.

Of course, things went downhill after that, as they then trucked out Oprah, the sole founder of the Black Reich. The crowd cheered her entrance wildly as if she was emerging from a one-on-one conversation with God. She reminded people that she was not supporting Obama Bin Laden because he was Black, but because he was brilliant. Her nose, like her thighs, grew a little more. I'm astounded anew about how much credibility this overbearing slob continues to have in this country. If this keeps up, it will be a matter of time before fighter planes, adorned with her show's logo, start to bomb London all over again. I sense that, behind the scenes, she is orchestrating part of Ba-lack's campaign just like Angela Lansbury did in the first version of "The Manchurian Candidate." Of course, at the end of that movie, Angela's character wound up with a bullet in her head, and we can only hope that cinematic history can repeat itself in real life.

As this sardonic edition of "The View" continued, out came Caroline Kennedy, and I give her a pass for a momentary lapse of judgement as she remains the only member of the Kennedy family to show any level of civility and class. But then, in a truly bizarre moment, the next one to grace the stage was Maria Shriver, wife of the California governor, who just days before had announced his support of John McCain. My guess is that she and Aah-nold did not sleep in the same bed Sunday night. And perhaps that's a good thing. In the picture above, Maria appears to have developed an overbite. She should be wearing an oversized red sweater with a big A on it.

From what I could see on C-Span, the gathered throng was literally hypnotized by the hen party on stage. And, given that none of them uttered a single sentence of any substance, I once again thought of this country with sadness. Indeed, given our choices at hand, democracy is truly being wasted in America.

Yes, I voted for Hillary. No, I am not proud of it. I voted against Obama Bin Laden not because he is Black, but because he is green. No experience. Nada. Zilcho. Zip. I don't want to select a President because he will be different. I want to elect a President that will be smart and experienced and agenda-less. Ba-lack Osama may only be one of those three, and even that can be contested. I was asked over the weekend who would be my ideal candidate. I ticked off the names. Adlai Stevenson. Bobby Kennedy. Franklin Delano Roosevelt. All dead. In many respects, just like the future of this country.

Yet, despite it all, if you've got a vote today, by all means please use it. But, at the same time, try to remember just how bad Kool Aid really is.

Dinner last night: Pot roast, mashed potatoes, and peas.