Snaps, Volume 1

I don't know about you, but I love those rounds they used to do on "In Living Color." Reminds me of watching the great Moms Mabley on the Merv Griffin Show. There are actually a few dozen websites devoted to them. Who knows? Maybe this is a sneak preview of a Presidential cabinet meeting in about a year. Here's a bunch of them devoted to yo' mama's size:

Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.

Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she says "Trick or meatloaf!"

Yo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says "I give up!"

Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her the key to the store.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to Burger King and asked for a Whopper, they gave her the sign.

Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say:"Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"

Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to put her picture on the milk truck.

Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.

Yo mama's so fat, she was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Yo mama's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Yo mama's so fat, she doesn't have a doctor, she has a grounds keeper.

Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.

Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Yo mama's so fat, she deep-fries her toothpaste.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks "Where can I try that on?"

Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is rocky-road.

Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay."

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!

Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her "Sorry, we don't do livestock."

Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Seattle, NY.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change the radio station.

Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d.

Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.

Yo mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.

Dinner last night: Turkey burger at Earth, Wind, and Flour.