Is It Getting a Little Wednesday in Here?

Hey, watch where you put that!

---One of the glories of having a team in extended postseason baseball is that it totally dominates your time. Translation: I have paid precious little attention to the Presidential campaign.

---Woo Hoo!

---Although Howard Stern did a great bit on Sirius. He sent a reporter to Harlem to scout out Obama supporters. Which he could find by throwing a pencil in the air.

---But when the same reporter told them some stances that McCain has on issues without mentioning his name, they had no clue that they weren't attached to Obama.

---And this proves what I have been saying for years: 98% of our population is stupid and doesn't deserve to vote.

---I guess it really is the RACE for the White House.

---This is a country too moronic to appreciate and experience democracy.

---Here's how you pick a President: find 20 of the top and unbiased historians, economists, and philosophers in the country and install them onto a blue ribbon panel. They accept submissions from people. Anybody affiliated with either the Republican or Democratic party is ineligible.

---The country would be fixed in about two years time.

---There's no charge for that suggestion, America. It's all part of my complimentary service as a grateful citizen.

---Like it or not, folks. We are headed into the worst four years of this country's history and we have the esteemed Democratic and Republican parties to thank for that.

---Wasn't the Vice Presidential debate on too late for McCain?

---I love Joe Biden's latest gaffe. Inviting voters to meet him for lunch at a restaurant that has been closed since 1988.

---I heard this the other day from some stupid Beverly Hills bitch in the chair next to me while I was getting a haircut: "I don't want Sarah Palin anywhere near the nuclear button."

---So is there really a nuclear button? What does it look like? Is it on the Oval Office desk right alongside a Swingline stapler? I need to know these details.

---Does anybody really believe this button would ever get pressed without a discussion involving more than 100 or so politicians??

---I think this sow was watching a little too much "Dr. Strangelove" during her last Botox injection.

---Of course, I have no confidence in Biden being near the button either. He might get confused and press it when he's really trying to call his Black valet for a shoe shine.

---Now that they might have found what happened to that crazy balloonist Steve Fossett, maybe they can go find Michelle Obama.

---Since the campaign has begun in earnest, she has been, as Tony Soprano might say, "disappeared."

---After all, she did have a lot to say. And maybe that's what you don't see her now. Because she did have a lot to say.

---Who is this guy? Achmed Imadinnerjacket.

---I'm just checking. Have I worked hard enough this week to pay your next mortgage statement?

---Watching the AL Division Series, I can officially announce that I am now sick to death of the Boston Red Sox.

---Why does Jonathan Papelbon remind me of some Sing Sing inmate on a work release program? He looks like the kind of guy who snaps the neck of parakeets for funsies.

---They showed author and Red Sox fanatic Stephen King in the stands and he now looks like some cadaver in one of his short stories.

---And who has their five-year-old child out at Fenway Park at 12 Midnight on a Sunday???? Is there not a school system in Boston? Or did Teddy Kennedy do away with them during one of his wet brain "episodes?"

---I am rooting for the Tampa Bay Rays. Even if their astroturf hasn't been vacuumed since Amy Carter was using flash cards.

---Of course, I am hoping and praying the Dodgers upend the Phillies. Their home city has done nothing worthwhile since, well, 1776.

---Unless, of course, you count cheese steaks.

---I put in a few extra hours of work today to get a head start on your mortgage payment for next month. Just so you know.

---The famed Phillippe's, a favorite Friday pre-Dodger game dinner stop for me and Mr. Anonymous of the Barbara Judith Deluxe Furnished Apartments on Hollywood Boulevard, just celebrated their 100th birthday by offering French Dip sandwiches for 10 cents.

---The line was out the door and down the block.

---And I am betting that half of them still won't pay their mortgage this month.

Dinner last night: Cervelat sandwich.