Penultimate Shopping Wednesday Before Christmas

I just flew back from NY and, boy, are my arms tired.

---Midtown Manhattan was unwalkable while I was there. Too many tourists, too many old folks, too many idiots.

---When you're 75 or 80, is the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree that new to you?

---By the way, dig that nifty picture I took.

---Wasted prime restaurant space: The Olive Garden overlooking Times Square.

---Amazing view, microwaveable food.

---With the number of crappy chain restaurants in the theater district, Mamma Leone's would now be considered high end cuisine.

---When you're throwing back some unwanted clothes to a Christmas gifter, remember the immortal words of President George W. Bush.

---Shoes can hurt.

---Is that how they assassinate leaders in Iraq? With a pair of size 10 Weejuns to the skull?

---Both shoes came from the same direction which means there was no second shoe thrower on the grassy knoll.

---No truth to the rumor that the shoe brand was "Johnson & Hussein."

---Okay, I'll stop.

---Somewhere midway across the country, I started to feel it. Sore throat, headache, stuffy head.

---I wanted to stand up and announce to the rest of the airplane cabin, "Okay, which one of you assholes gave me your germs?!!"

---I actually heard one flight attendant say this to another, "I wonder what their homes look like."

---Exactly.

---I can't believe all the press that Oprah is getting for being grossly overweight. Look at the rest of the country.

---As this fat slob tips the scales at 200 pounds, you wouldn't want to be a carrot stick in her house as she races the clock to fit into a party dress for her buddy's coronation.

---While you all wait for that Illinois governor to get tarred and feathered, I'm wondering how much Big Barry Obama knew about all that scandal.

---Of course, he says he knew nothing. Actually, he's like those kids in the "Family Circus" comic strip. The ones who are always saying "not me."

---Sitting in the church for twenty years while that insane pastor preached absolute venom.

---"Not me."

---Ties to that criminal housing czar in Chicago?

---"Not me."

---Lots of time spent in the home of terrorist Bill Ayers.

---"Not me."

---If you listen to him, vacuum packed Spam gets out more.

And who's finished with their holiday shopping? Definitely NOT ME.

Dinner last night: Crispy spicy beef at the Cheesecake Factory.