Moron of the Month - February 2013

February has only 28 days this year, so I'm getting this in just under the wire.  But, have no fear, there is a Moron this month.

Those of you outside of Los Angeles likely don't care but there is an election happening next week to find a new schmuck to lead the city.  The current mayor, Antonio Villaraigosa, is finally being shipped out after personally shepherding the town to the brink of almost certain ruin.  Here's an idiot who was so classically inept that it's almost logical that his next job will be a role in the Obama White House.  When it comes to politics, it's all about the party card in your wallet, not whether you can actually do a job.  Frankly, the only job that Villaraigosa is suiting for involves bags of orange and a nearby freeway on-ramp.  Anything else is completely out of his skill set.  Truly, "A Moron for All Seasons."

So, meanwhile, there are about six or seven clowns willing to take on this job.  Perhaps, in their spare time, they also like to stick toothpicks as well.  This will be a thankless position and one that will mimic Mary Richards in the last episode of "The Mary Tyler Moore Show."  Someone to turn the lights out while the rest of us hapless suckers sing "It's a Long Way To Tipperary."

But there is one candidate that is especially stupid.  And moronic.

Emanuel Pleitez.   Don't know the name?  That's because you haven't lived in my house for the past three weeks?  Or signed onto my computer?  If you had, you would know who this asshole is.  And hate him.

Luckily, this dope is only expected to garner about 6 or 7% of the vote.  Despite the fact that he says he is "quite frankly tired, uninspired, unimpressed by the folks who are running for office."  Pot, kettle, black.  If you do a little digging on Pleitez, you will realize he's just more of the same.

He's only thirty years old, so he clearly has no experience at anything but selecting a babysitter for Saturday night so he and his wife can go out to see the latest installment of Die Hard.  He has what my dad used to say..."all the answers to none of the questions."  

Just look at what he's done so far.  He worked at the dreaded Goldman Sachs until then-Presidential candidate Barack Obama plucked him out to be on his campaign team.   As if you didn't realize that the President owes so much to the money men he claims to hate.  The fact that Pleitez is Hispanic also helped.  Most politicians don't do a thing unless they know they are courting some voting bloc.

Meanwhile, Pleitez parlayed all this in a bunch of jobs that accomplished nothing and simply wasted taxpayer dollars.  Based out here in Southern California, his logical next step was to run Los Angeles.  Hey, the last guy didn't know what he was doing.  Why not continue the learned tradition?

Indeed, none of this checkered background makes Emanuel Pleitez any different from your own neighborhood sleazebag running for public office.  But, one thing does separate this jerk from the rest. 

His over-zealous and frenetic methods at trying to connect with the voting public.

Over the past three weeks, my phone has rung past 9PM on three different occasions.  All of them came from Pleitez' team.  At the most inappropriate late hour.  

"Can we count on your vote?"

No.  Click.

You would think these dummies would take that answer at face value?  Nah.

The same scene repeats itself on two other nights.  How fucking dare you?  On the last call, I respectively asked them to remove my number from their records.

"Can we ask why?"

Because I said so, stupid.

Meanwhile, something is happening on my computer.  All of a sudden, I am getting a steady flow of e-mails.  All about Emanuel Pleitez.  I spam them all.  Yet, they keep on coming.  How did they get this information?  

Back on Facebook, I keep seeing posts.  From "friend" Emanuel Pleitez.  How did this happen?  Who knows?  I look to see how I end this connection.  I search on Facebook how to construct a list of "enemies." 

Some might consider such outlandish attempts at getting your vote as innovative and clever.  I find it an incredible invasion of privacy.  Frankly, he lost my vote a long time ago.

Oh, wait, he never had it.  Because Emanuel Pleitez is nothing more than a cheap politician advertising himself as your best friend.  And whether it's for the office of Los Angeles Mayor or President of the United States, that just doesn't fly in my book.

Because they're really not your friend.  On Facebook.  Or anyplace else, for that matter.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich and salad.