1138: LY ANH TONG IS ENTHRONED AS EMPEROR OF VIETNAM AT THE AGE OF TWO.
No declaration of war today. The emperor's got colic.
1530: THE ST. FELIX'S FLOOD DESTROYS THE CITY OF REIMERSWAAL IN THE NETHERLANDS.
Ironic that something so messy is called Felix.
1605: THE GUNPOWDER PLOT - GUY FAWKES IS ARRESTED.
He's fawked now.
1688: WILLIAM III OF ENGLAND LANDS WITH A DUTCH FLEET AT SOUTHWEST ENGLAND.
Hey, ladies, fleet's in.
1757: THE SEVEN YEARS' WAR - FREDERICK THE GREAT DEFEATS THE ALLIED ARMIES OF FRANCE AND THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE.
I would assume that was a big upset.
1780: FRENCH-AMERICAN FORCES UNDER COLONEL LABALME ARE DEFEATED BY MIAMI CHIEF LITTLE TURTLE.
Heap big shell.
1831: AMERICAN SLAVE LEADER NAT TURNER IS TRIED, CONVICTED, AND SENTENCED TO DEATH IN VIRGINIA.
He's fawked, too.
1862: PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN REMOVES GEORGE B. MCCLELLAN AS COMMANDER OF THE UNION ARMY FOR THE SECOND AND FINAL TIME.
So the first time didn't take?
1872: WOMEN'S SUFFRAGE IN THE US - IN DEFIANCE OF THE LAW, SUFFRAGIST SUSAN B. ANTHONY VOTES FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IS LATER FINED $100.
That's one way to get your head on some currency.
1895: GEORGE B. SELDEN IS GRANTED THE US PATENT FOR AN AUTOMOBILE.
Be the first to drive a '97 Selden.
1905: ACTOR JOEL MCCREA IS BORN.
This guy worked in a whole lot of great movies during the 30s and 40s.
1911: SINGER ROY ROGERS IS BORN.
Question: did he get stuffed like Trigger?
1912: WOODROW WILSON IS ELECTED TO THE PRESIDENCY OF THE US.
One of the first ones to set us on a downward spiral.
1913: ACTRESS VIVIEN LEIGH IS BORN.
Frankly, I don't give a damn.
1914: WORLD WAR I - FRANCE AND THE BRITISH EMPIRE DECLARE WAR ON THE OTTOMAN TERRACE.
Why do these countries have against footrests?
1914: ALPHA PHI DELTA FRATERNITY IS FOUNDED AT SYRACUSE UNIVERSITY.
The first all-night kegger.
1916: THE EVERETT MASSACRE TAKES PLACE IN WASHINGTON AS POLITICAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE INDUSTRIAL WORKERS OF THE WORLD ORGANIZERS AND LOCAL PEOPLE.
Seeing the word "massacre" in a sentence is never good.
1919: ACCORDION PLAYER MYRON FLOREN IS BORN.
Thank you, Myron and the boys.
1937: ADOLF HITLER HOLDS A SECRET MEETING AND STATES HIS PLANS FOR ACQUIRING LIVING SPACE FOR THE GERMAN PEOPLE.
Living Space? You mean, like the furniture store??
1940: ACTRESS ELKE SOMMER IS BORN.
She shops in the same German delicatessen I do.
1941: SINGER ART GARFUNKEL IS BORN.
And here's to you, Mrs. Garfunkel.
1942: SONGWRITER GEORGE M. COHAN DIES.
Dead of the fifth of November.
1943: WORLD WAR II - THE BOMBING OF THE VATICAN.
Now, was that nice???
1947: SINGER PETER NOONE IS BORN.
So where did the name Herman come from?
1955: AFTER BEING DESTROYED IN WORLD WAR II, THE REBUILT VIENNA STATE OPERA OPENS WITH A PERFORMANCE OF BEETHOVEN'S FIDELIO.
As opposed to Mrs. Beethoven's Fellatio.
1960: ACTOR WARD BOND DIES.
Wagon train derailed.
1960: PRODUCER MACK SENNETT DIES.
That must have been some crazy funeral procession.
1963: ACTRESS TATEM O'NEAL IS BORN.
It's only a paper moon.
1967: THE HITHER GREEN RAIL CRASH IN THE UNITED KINGDOM KILLS 49 PEOPLE. SURVIVORS INCLUDE ROBIN GIBB OF THE BEE GEES.
How do you mend a broken train?
1970: THE VIETNAM WAR - THE US REPORTS THE LOWEST WEEKLY AMERICAN SOLDIER DEATH TOLL IN 5 YEARS - 24.
Still 24 too many.
1977: BANDLEADER GUY LOMBARDO DIES.
Auld Lang Major Syne.
1979: CARTOONIST AL CAPP DIES.
Black drapes hanging all over Dogpatch.
1990: RABBI MEIR KAHANE, FOUNDER OF THE FAR-RIGHT KACH MOVEMENT, IS SHOT DEAD AFTER A SPEECH AT A NEW YORK CITY HOTEL.
Kahane was a Big Kahuna.
1991: ACTOR FRED MACMURRAY DIES.
Chip and Ernie weep.
2007: ANDROID MOBILE OPERATING SYSTEM IS UNVEILED BY GOOGLE.
Hey, that's my cell phone!
2008: AUTHOR MICHAEL CRICHTON DIES.
And some man-made dinosaurs weep.
2010: ACTRESS JILL CLAYBURGH DIES.
She's more than just unmarried now.
Dinner last night: Late afternoon flight and I brought along a prosciutto, provolone, and sweet peppers wedge from Angelo's Italian Deli in Yonkers.
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