Your Weekend Movie Guide for November 2014

"Meet Me in St. Louis" is seventy years old this month.   And if you look at it as I did on Wednesday night, you would think it was made last week.   Meanwhile, I can barely remember movies released seventy minutes ago.

We're coming up on the holiday movie going season when, sometimes, things get a little better at the cinema.   But, not always.   You know the drill, gang.   I'll sift through the movie pages of the LA Times and give you my knee-jerk reaction to what's playing.

Don't blame me if there's nothing out there.

The Theory of Everything:  As timely as your last Ice Bucket challenge.   Watch how Stephen Hawking got the way he did.

Fury:  Brad Pitt in a WWII drama that I normally would go to see with my father.   But he's dead.

John Wick:  Keanu Reeves is back.   Consider this your final warning.

Ouija:  Spell this.  N-O-T-G-O-I-N-G.

Big Hero 6:  Disney's new cartoon.   If you're thinking you somehow missed Big Hero 1-5, don't fret it.  They never happened.

The Judge:  Robert Downey Jr.,  Robert Duvall, and sadly no Judge Judy.

Whiplash:  Reviewed here recently.   One of the best pictures I've seen this year.   How does that grab you?

The Lookalike:   Patty Duke's not in it.   Not interested.

Before I Got to Sleep:  Nicole Kidman has amnesia.  Frankly, I'd like to totally forget Nicole Kidman.

Nightcrawler:  Reviewed and recommended here.  The seedy side of local TV news.  It's gone all downhill after Mary Richards left the business.

Gone Girl:   Uncomfortably long.  And get your minds out of the gutter.

Interstellar:  Overrated director Christopher Nolan goes to outer space.  And his head is so big that it just might eclipse the moon.

A Merry Friggin' Christmas:  And here they come.  More dysfunctional families celebrating the holidays.  One of Robin Williams' last movies.  No wonder he was depressed.

Dracula Untold:  There's even more to the vampire story??  Maybe we'll learn that those teeth were really bridge work.

Elsa and Fred:  Shirley MacLaine and Christopher Plummer have a romance.  And you thought there were no movies out there for people over 80?

The Equalizer:   Denzel Washington looks nothing like Edward Woodward.

Giovanni's Island:  There's Giovanni.  The Skipper, too.  A millionaire and his wife...

St. Vincent:  Reviewed and recommended here.  There is hope at the cinema.

Sex Ed:   Haley Joel Osment is a sex education instructor.  I see naked people.

Birdman:   Go and let me know what you think it all means.

Citizenfour: All about NSA leaker Edward Snowden.   More leaks than June Allyson's Depends.

Rosewater:  Some dribble about a journalist held captive in Iran.  Nothing to lose your head over.   Oh, by the way, this movie comes with four scary words.  "Directed by Jon Stewart."

Saving Christmas:  Kirk Cameron gives us the real meaning of Christmas.  I prefer Linus.

Foxcatcher:   Have you seen the trailers of this?  Behind tons of makeup as a real life Olympic wrestling coach, Steve Carell is unrecognizable. 

Dumb and Dumber To:  Kill us all now.

Miss Meadows:  Katie Holmes as a sweet schoolteacher turned vigilante.  And you were worried about outsiders bringing guns to school?

Wolves:  Another teen turns into a savage animal.   This plot was probably more interesting the first 200 times it was done.

Always Woodstock:  An aspiring singer moves back to her home town.  So I guess this isn't about Snoopy's little friend?

The Homesman: Tommy Lee Jones is the drifter.  Hilary Swank is the pioneer woman who takes him in.  Len is the guy at home not watching this movie.

Calloused Hands:  A 12-year-old boy would rather play basketball than study for his bar mitzvah.  Who knew that Al Jolson should shoot a three-pointer?

Besides Still Waters:  A young romantic wants to relive his youth.  Hey, I do that on this blog every Sunday.

The Playback Singer:  A jungle gym designer finds his life upended when his father-in-law visits from India.  Gee, you had me leaving at "jungle gym designer."

Bad Turn Worse:  Three Texas teens hook up with a sociopathic criminal.  Sounds like the second feature at a drive-in in McAllen, Texas.

Force Majeure:  A Swedish family learns how to cope.  Ya.

Low Down:  How far this Friday's list of movies has sunk.

Jessabelle:  The Bette Davis movie before it went through Spellcheck.

Open Windows:  A nerdy fan tries to access his favorite actress' webcam.  Oh, that kind of Windows....

Dinner last night:  Turkey burger at Rush Street.