I didn't before I saw "Wild." When the movie was over, I cared even less than that. Leave it to Hollywood to give us a holiday movie that is so dreary we might all become atheists.
This film is clearly a labor of love for star Reese Witherspoon whose name appears all over the credits. Executive Producer. Star. Freshly Baked Muffins on the Craft Services Table. She obviously saw something in this true story, which was written by the real Cheryl Strayed. Unfortunately, I saw nothing compelling at all. Unless, of course, you really appreciate the unabashed in-movie product placement and endorsements for the REI Sports equipment chain. I mean, smack in the middle, you are recited their shipping policy. Seriously?
For those who care, the real Cheryl Strayed is some lunatic who, all by her lonesome, took a thousand-mile hike across the Pacific Crest Trail wherever the hell that is. She was trying to heal her life. She was a lowly waitress/heroin addict/slut who just got divorced because...wait for it...she strayed. On top of it all, her mom just lost a battle with cancer. PS, Laura Dern is the mom and I can remember when she was viewed as a young ingenue. Dern disappears early on but her fans need not fear. She keeps popping up in Cheryl's hallucinations out in the woods. Around the tree? Oh, look, it's Mom. In that tent sleeping? Oh, look, it's Mom. Is that a coyote? Oh, no, it's Mom in a fur coat.
Puh-leze.
"Wild" is another one of those first-hand accounts by some clown who thinks their story is unique and needs to be shared first in a book and now a film. Memo to Cheryl Strayed: no, it doesn't. We've seen this tale over and over and over again. And you would think that even the scenery would be outstanding. Everything is made to look so grim by director Jean-Marc (no relation to Rudy) Vallee. I'm glad somebody greenlit his work on this film. He'll never get a job shooting for the National Geographic Channel.
Witherspoon got an Oscar nomination for this role, primarily for the scene where she has to remove her big toenail in one quick yank. Obviously, there are no Dr. Scholl's outlets out in the woods. Unfortunately, all that buzz is for a hive with very little honey. There is nothing unique about her work here and it just goes to make you despise the real Cheryl even more. Of course, you see the latter in snapshots over the closing credits and I can remember when that now-common ploy was clever. Indeed, you'll see that Cheryl Strayed looks less like Reese Witherspoon and more like Mason Reese.
Unless you really love hiking or boring yourself to tears with a story that has been told only a hundred and fifty times, you can pass on "Wild." Not only did it not make me want to hike, I actually drove the two blocks home from the theater.
LEN'S RATING: One and a half stars.
Dinner last night: Stir-fry beef with snow peas.
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