Friday, February 13, 2015

Your Weekend Movie Guide for February 2015

Perhaps my favorite theater in Los Angeles has begun its celebration for its 75th anniversary this month.   When there's nothing good playing at the dreary multiplexes around town, I head over to this little gem on Montana Avenue in Santa Monica and go back in time.   To a classic I may never have seen.   Or to view an old favorite that just keeps getting better with age.

It's a holiday weekend and a perfect time to go to the movies.   You know the monthly drill, gang.   I'll sift through the LA Times entertainment pages and give you my gut reaction to the junk out in theaters this weekend.

Hmmmmm.  I wonder what's playing at the Aero.

Black or White:   I'm hoping this is a documentary about the cookie I used to buy in Grand Central Station for the Friday night ride home, but I guess not.

The Boy Next Door:   Jennifer Lopez is terrorized.   Now she knows how it feels since she's been doing the same to us for twenty years.

Wild:  Reviewed here recently.   I was not...well...wild about it.

Whiplash:   One of my two favorite movies of 2014.   See JK Simmons' soon-to-be-Oscar-winning performance.

Two Days, One Night:  Marion Cotillard got a surprise Oscar nomination for this, which means it's not on Jennifer Aniston's Netflix queue.   Ask one of the three people who saw it what they thought.

Into the Woods:  I saw it and forgot to review it.   My bad.   LEN'S RATING:  Three stars.  Done.

The Imitation Game:   Reviewed here recently.   Clever and slick British espionage thriller that takes any even darker turn in the final two reels.   

Paddington:   Only if you can bear it.

Song of the Sea:   Isn't this the name of a tuna fish?

Foxcatcher:  Hated here recently.  The two worst things about the movie, director Bennett Miller and Steve Carell, are what got Oscar-nominated.  And Jennifer Aniston scratches her head again.

Goodbye to Language:   This is essentially what America is saying these days.

Unbroken:   Reviewed here recently.  The title is inaccurate.

Cake:   What Jennifer Aniston wishes more Academy voters had eaten.

Girlhood:   Oh, God, not another twelve-year production/monstrosity.

The Wedding Ringer:   The trailer for this movie was around for so long that I thought this garbage had opened in 2013.

Selma:  Reviewed here recently.  Go onto Wikipedia if you want the accurate story about this civil rights march.

Taken 3:  And Liam Neeson's SAG dues get paid for one more year.

Still Alice:  Julianne Moore will supposedly win Best Actress for this turn about a woman's fight against Ahlzeimer's.   In the film, the character is married to Alec Baldwin.  In reality, she might appreciate the loss of memory.

SpongeBob - Sponge Out of Water:  I doubt it's that absorbing.

Mortdecai:  Johnny Depp's latest attempt at comedy is apparently tragic.

The Theory of Everything:  Spoiler alert - Stephen Hawking just made another cameo appearance on the Big Bang Theory.   

Timbuktu:   Which will be followed b Timbukthree.

An American in Hollywood:   They're increasingly hard to find.

Fifty Shades of Grey:   This apparently was a book or something.   It sounds like my Wallach's wardrobe from the 90s.

The Worst Year of My Life:   Without even knowing the plot, this sounds like a movie to avoid.

Kingsman - The Secret Service:  A street kid becomes an international spy.  I guess those entrance exams have gotten easier.

Da Sweet Blood of Jesus:  You would think the title was scary enough.  How about these four words...."directed by Spike Lee."

The Last Five Years:   A romantic comedy set to music.   It stars Broadway's Jeremy Jordan and Anna Kendrick...oh, Hell, I'm there.

American Sniper:   Reviewed here recently.   One of the most balanced war movies I've ever seen.   Let the discussion begin.

Birdman:  The director won the DGA last week.   I should find the acceptance speech on-line to see if HE EXPLAINS WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS ABOUT.

Love, Rosie:   Well, I know what it's not about.  O'Donnell's happy marriage.

The Loft:  Murderous doings in an apartment.   I'm glad I don't live downstairs.

Jupiter Ascending:  That's because Mrs. Jupiter is so damn cute.

The Voices:  An unbalanced guy in a bathtub factory starts getting dating advice from his talking pets.   I guess that was the elevator pitch.

Strange Magic:  I'll bet you ten dollars the ELO song is played at least twice.

One Small Hitch:   Well, we know it's not about Alfred.

Seventh Son:  What we wound up with if Mrs. Charlie Chan lost her birth control pills.

Project Almanac:  Another time travel yarn.   I say we go back to the time before this movie was greenlit.

A Most Violent Year:   Even less people saw this than the Marion Cotillard movie.

The Rewrite:   This has to be a horror movie.

Citizenfour:   Allegedly this documentary about NSA leaker Edward Snowden will win an Oscar.   Am I the only one who think the title writer forgot to hit the space bar?

Dinner last night:  Stir fry vegetables.


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