138: THE ROMAN EMPEROR HADRIAN ADOPTS ANTONINUS PIUS, EFFECTIVELY MAKING HIM HIS SUCCESSOR.
This bunch was changing leadership as much as they were changing their togas.
493: ODOACER SURRENDERS RAVENNA AFTER A THREE-YEAR SIEGE AND AGREES TO A MEDIATED PEACE WITH THEODORIC THE GREAT.
Theodoric was later nicknamed the Beaver.
628: KOSRAU II IS OVERTHROWN BY HIS SON KAVADH II.
Who Cares II?
1336: 4,000 DEFENDERS OF PILENAL COMMIT MASS SUICIDE RATHER THAN BE TAKEN CAPTIVE BY THE TEUTONIC KNIGHTS.
Doesn't say much about the Teutonic Knights.
1570: POPE PIUS V EXCOMMUNICATES QUEEN ELIZABETH I OF ENGLAND.
This is the Queen Elizabeth without the handbag.
1797: COLONEL WILLIAM TATE AND HIS FORCE OF 1000-1500 SOLDIERS SURRENDER AFTER THE LAST INVASION OF BRITAIN.
Lots of tails between lots of legs.
1836: SAMUEL COLT IS GRANTED A US PATENT FOR THE COLT REVOLVER.
Malt liquor to follow.
1843: PROVISIONAL CESSATION OF THE HAWAIIAN OR SANDWICH ISLANDS ESTABLISHED BY LORD GEORGE PAULET.
A combination would be a Hawaiian sandwich, probably with pineapple slices.
1866: MINERS IN CALAVERAS COUNTY, CALIFORNIA, DISCOVER WHAT IS NOW CALLED THE CALAVERAS SKULL --- HUMAN REMAINS THAT SUPPOSEDLY INDICATED THAT MAN, MASTODONS, AND ELEPHANTS CO-EXISTED.
Until, of course, the mastodons and the elephants got hungry.
1870: HIRAM RHODES REVELS, A REPUBLICAN FROM MISSOURI, IS SWORE TO THE US SENATE, BECOMING THE FIRST BLACK EVER TO SIT IN CONGRESS.
Liberals, please note all the irony in that sentence.
1901: JP MORGAN INCORPORATES THE US STEEL CORPORATION.
Money to be made there.
1901: ACTOR ZEPPO MARX IS BORN.
Oh, horse feathers!
1913: ACTOR JIM BACKUS IS BORN.
Watch out for that next step, Magoo!
1913: ACTOR GERT FROBE IS BORN.
Gold-fing-uh.
1920: RELIGIOUS LEADER SUN MYUNG MOON IS BORN.
Rising in the east.
1929: MUSICIAN TOMMY NEWSOM IS BORN.
He once asked to borrow my pen. Long story.
1932: ADOLF HITLER OBTAINS GERMAN CITIZENSHIP BY NATURALIZATION, WHICH ALLOWS HIM TO RUN IN THE 1932 ELECTION FOR PRESIDENT.
Jesse Owens also got to run later on, too.
1940: BASEBALL PLAYER RON SANTO IS BORN.
He used to click his heels when the Cubs won. That was while he still had heels to click.
1941: IN OCCUPIED AMSTERDAM, A GENERAL STRIKE IS DECLARED IN RESPONE TO INCREASING ANTI-JEWISH MEASURES INSTITUTED BY THE NAZIS.
And you wonder why the Franks went to the attic.
1943: BEATLE GEORGE HARRISON IS BORN.
My sweet Lord.
1948: THE COMMUNIST PARTY TAKES CONTROL OF GOVERNMENT IN CZECHOSLOVAKIA AND THE PERIOD OF THE THIRD REPUBLIC ENDS.
Czech, please.
1954: GAMAL ABDEL NASSER IS MADE PREMIER OF EGYPT.
Nasser later is the place where all US space shots were made.
1966: ACTRESS TEA LEONI IS BORN.
If Tea Leoni married James Lipton...
1968: DURING THE VIETNAM WAR, 135 UNARMED CITIZENS OF HA MA IN SOUTH VIETNAM ARE KILLED AND BURIED EN MASSE BY SOUTH KOREAN
TROOPS IS WHAT WAS LATER KNOWN AS THE HA MY MASSACRE.
Ha, indeed.
1986: PRESIDENT OF THE PHILIPPINES FERDINAND MARCOS FLEES THE NATION AFTER 20 YEARS OF RULE.
Wait! You forgot your wife!
1987: ACTOR JAMES COCO DIES.
Death by Death.
1996: ACTOR HAING S. NGOR DIES.
The Killing Fields, indeed.
1997: YI HAN-YONG, NORTH KOREA DEFECTOR, IS MURDERED.
He didn't defect fast enough.
2006: ACTOR DARREN MCGAVIN DIES.
I guess he was frag-ile.
2013: SURGEON C. EVERETT KOOP DIES.
Hazardous to his own health.
2014: GAME SHOW HOST JIM LANGE DIES.
A Straight-From-The-Coffin Kiss!!!!
Dinner last night: Leftover sausage and peppers.
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