1303: THE SAPIENZA UNIVERSITY OF ROME IS INSTITUTED BY POPE BONIFACE VIII.
Which means there were seven other Popes before him named Boniface.
1653; OLIVER CROMWELL DISSOLVES THE RUMP PARLIAMENT.
Which probably sat on their...go ahead and finish it.
1657: FREEDOM OF RELIGION IS GRANTED TO THE JEWS OF NEW AMSTERDAM.
I thought that was Morey Amsterdam.
1775: AMERICAN REVOLUTION - THE SIEGE OF BOSTON BEGINS.
So close to Marathon Day?
1789: GEORGE WASHINGTON ARRIVES IN PHILADELPHIA EN ROUTE TO NEW YORK FOR HIS INAUGURATION.
Back then, this trip must have taken weeks.
1836: THE US CONGRESS PASSES AN ACT CREATING THE WISCONSIN TERRITORY.
Cheeseheads, rejoice!
1862: LOUIS PASTEUR AND CLAUDE BERNARD COMPLETE THE EXPERIMENT FALSIFYING THE THEORY OF SPONTANEOUS GENERATION.
I don't see the word milk anywhere in that sentence.
1893: ACTOR HAROLD LLOYD IS BORN.
Perhaps the most underrated of all silent movie comics.
1902: PIERRE AND MARIE CURIE REFINE RADIUM CHLORIDE.
Let's pour it on something and see what happens.
1912: OPENING DAY FOR BASEBALL'S TIGER STADIUM IN DETROIT AND FENWAY PARK IN BOSTON.
Oddly, one of them still exists.
1912: AUTHOR BRAM STOKER DIES.
The sun must have come up.
1914: ACTRESS BETTY LOU GERSON IS BORN.
Who, you say? The voice of the greatest Dinsey villain, Cruella Deville, I say.
1916: THE CHICAGO CUBS PLAY THEIR FIRST GAME AT WHAT WILL BECOME WRIGLEY FIELD.
World Series flag to follow. Yeah, right.
1923: MOTHER ANGELICA IS BORN.
That nun you see on the back channels of every cable system.
1926: WESTERN ELECTRIC AND WARNER BROS. ANNOUNCE VITAPHONE, A PROCESS TO ADD SOUND TO FILM.
You ain't heard nothing yet.
1937: ACTOR GEORGE TAKEI IS BORN.
Who knew that his greatest claim to fame would be a regular lambasting on the Howard Stern Show?
1939: ADOLF HITLER'S 50TH BIRTHDAY IS CELEBRATED AS A NATIONAL HOLIDAY IN NAZI GERMANY.
Put some gun powder in those candles.
1941: ACTOR RYAN O'NEAL IS BORN.
Rodney Harrington.
1945: WORLD WAR II - ADOLF HITLER MAKES HIS LAST TRIP OUT OF HIS BUNKER TO AWARD BOY SOLDIERS OF THE HITLER YOUTH.
And celebrates his last birthday.
1946: THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS OFFICIALLY DISSOLVES, GIVING MOST OF ITS POWER TO THE UNITED NATIONS.
Which becomes an even bigger joke.
1951: DAN GAVRILLA PERFORMS THE FIRST SURGICAL REPLACEMENT OF A HUMAN ORGAN.
And that organ was....? Tell me. I don't know.
1959: ACTOR CLINT HOWARD IS BORN.
Ron's brother.
1972: APOLLO 16, COMMANDED BY JOHN YOUNG, LANDS ON THE MOON.
With two other apparently nameless astronauts.
1984: THE GOOD FRIDAY MASSACRE, AN EXTREMELY VIOLENT ICE HOCKEY PLAY GAME, IS PLAYED IN MONTREAL.
Massacre Night in Canada.
1992: COMIC BENNY HILL DIES.
Never got him.
1993: ACTOR CANTINFLAS DIES.
Around the world in 82 years.
1999: VENTRILOQUIST SENOR WENCES DIES.
What is your first name, please?
1999: THE COLUMBINE HIGH SCHOOL MASSACRE---13 PEOPLE KILLED IN COLORADO.
And unfortunately a revised business model for Michael Moore.
2008: DANICA PATRICK WINS THE INDY JAPAN 300 BECOMING THE FIRST FEMALE DRIVER IN HISTORY TO WIN AN INDY CAR RACE.
The sexist remark would be to say that the pit stops took longer.
Dinner last night: Chopped salad with kale, Brussels sprouts, and asiago cheese.
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