33 BC: LUCIUS MARCIUS PHILLIPPUS, STEP BROTHER TO THE FUTURE EMPEROR AUGUSTUS, CELEBRATES A TRIUMPH FOR HIS VICTORIES WHILE SERVING AS GOVERNOR OF A HISPANIC PROVINCE.
This is a microcosm of why I hated tenth grade World History.
711: THE ISLAMIC CONQUEST OF HISPANIA.
And I still don't care.
1509: POPE JULIUS II PLACES THE ITALIAN STATE OF VENICE UNDER INTERDICT.
Inter what?
1521: EXPLORER FERDINAND MAGELLAN IS KILLED BY NATIVES IN THE PHILIPPINES.
I guess he got the natives lost with his navigation device.
1595: THE RELICS OF SAINT SAVA ARE INCINERATED IN BELGRADE BY THE OTTOMANS.
Now was that nice?
1667: THE BLIND AND IMPOVERISHED JOHN MILTON SELLS THE COPYRIGHT OF PARADISE LOST FOR 10 POUNDS.
Lowballed it.
1805: FIRST BARBARY WAR - US MARINES ATTACK THE TRIPOLITAN CITY OF DERNA.
The shores of Tripoli...I get it.
1861: PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN SUSPENDS THE WRIT OF HABEAS CORPUS.
In four years, he will be his own corpus.
1899: ANIMATOR WALTER LANTZ IS BORN.
And so too is Woody Woodpecker.
1911: A COMPROMISE IS REACHED TO ROTATE THE OFFICE OF PRESIDENT PRO TEMPORE OF THE US SENATE.
As if this really makes a difference.
1922: ACTOR JACK KLUGMAN IS BORN.
Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.
1927: CORETTA SCOTT KING IS BORN.
She died in 2006 and I think the kids are still fighting over her dough.
1936: THE UNITED AUTO WORKERS GAIN AUTONOMY FROM THE AMERICAN FEDERATION OF LABOR.
Not a crowd to fool around with.
1937: ACTRESS SANDY DENNIS IS BORN.
She went up the down staircase.
1939: ACTRESS JUDY CARNE IS BORN.
Sock it to her.
1945: WORLD WAR II - BENITO MUSSOLINI IS ARRESTED BY ITALIAN PARTISANS, WHILE ATTEMPTING DISGUISE AS A GERMAN SOLDIER.
That plot line would make a good movie.
1953: OPERATION MOOLAH OFFERS $50,000 TO ANY PILOT WHO DEFECTS TO SOUTH KOREA.
And the Fabulous Moolah was a lady wrestler.
1965: TV JOURNALIST EDWARD R. MURROW DIES.
Person to Cigarette.
1967: EXPO 67 OPENS IN MONTREAL.
And that's how they named the baseball team.
1974: TEN THOUSAND MARCH IN WASHINGTON DC CALLING FOR THE IMPEACHMENT OF US PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON.
And it worked.
1978: FORMER NIXON AIDE JOHN D. EHRLICHMAN IS RELEASED FROM AN ARIZONA PRISON AFTER 18 MONTHS.
No pardon for him.
1981: XEROX INTRODUCES THE COMPUTER MOUSE.
And life will never be the same.
1999: TRUMPET PLAYER AL HIRT DIES.
That blows.
2012: BASEBALL STAR BILL SKOWRON DIES.
Moose!
2014: POPES JOHN XXIII AND JOHN PAUL II ARE DECLARED SAINTS.
Two more holidays for Catholic schools.
Dinner last night: Leftover roast chicken and vegetables.
No comments:
Post a Comment