Friday, September 23, 2016

Your Weekend Movie Guide for September 2016

Here's what was playing at the Radio City Music Hall in September 1950.  Even back then, you could see that the more important (and possibly Oscar-worthy) films would start to come out as soon as the Fall season hits.

Finally, we might be rid of comic book junk and the usual world-apocalypse nonsense that clutters theaters every Sunday.  Stuff with a brain for people who also have...well...a brain.   Let's keep our movie going fingers crossed.

You know the drill, gang.   I'll wander through the movie pages of the local newspaper to give you my gut reaction to what is out there this week.   Here's hoping there's something there for all of us to see.    

Or you could always wait for "Sunset Boulevard" to show up on TCM.

Southside With You:   The first official romcom starring Barack Hudson and Michelle Day.   Yeah, some asshole in Hollywood thought we all needed to see a movie about their first date.   Fuck.  No.   I hear that the south side of Chicago looks virtually idyllic in this film.   I guess they weren't shooting it during the usual weekend gang war and gun battle.

Bridget Jones' Baby:  Abortion.

Sausage Party:  A dirty cartoon from Seth Rogen.   Which also means it's not funny.   Rogen is as hilarious as testicular cancer.

The People Vs. Fritz Bauer:   Relation to Jack?

Blair Witch:  A reboot of something that shouldn't have been booted in the first place.

Bad Moms:  Joan Crawford better be in this.

Don't Think Twice:  Reviewed here on Tuesday.  Scroll back.

Hell or High Water:   Blog review coming.   There is a finger pointing upward. Is it the thumb or the middle finger?  Stay tuned.

The Hollars:   Are there any families in America that are not dysfunctional?

The Magnificent Seven:   The annoying Denzel Washington shits all over another classic.   Is there an original idea in your head, Stupid?

Best Democracy Money Can Buy:   Certainly not in America.

Beauty and the Beast:  That threadbare story redone again, but not as a cartoon.   Pass.

Chicken People:  A look at the word of competitive poultry.  I wrote that just as I read it.

The Dressmaker:  Kate Winslet stars in another weepy tale---her annual acting enema designed to entice Oscar voters.

Goat:  College hazing and abuse.   They should have seen my first year at Fordham.

I.T:  Pierce Brosnan's latest attempt to prove he's relevant.   Spoiler alert: he's not.

Is That A Gun In Your Pocket?:  I don't why you ask...I'm not enjoying this movie.

My Blind Brother:  About somebody's...wait for it...blind brother.

Queen of Katwe:  A young Ugandan girl who....never mind.

People You May Know:   A woman gets pregnant by her gay ex-boyfriend. Will and a Distinct Lack of Grace.

Storks:  The latest animal spotlighted in a dreary cartoon.

Indignation:  Reviewed here recently.   Interesting, talky drama.   Should have been a play.

Kubo and the Two Strings:  Bigger budget could have gotten you three.

The Beatles - Eight Days a Week:   Will be long gone from theaters by the time my blog review runs.   But you can check it out on Hulu.

Cardboard Boxer:   Somebody fights the homeless...literally.

Don't Breathe:   Does it smell that badly?

The Light Between Oceans:   A romance about...good bye.

Mechanic - Resurrection:   All about padding an invoice, I suppose.

Mr. Church:  Who dug up Eddie Murphy?

Snowden:  Oliver Stone's take on the legendary snitch.   Expect him to look like Saint Snowden.

Suicide Squad:   It's your life.

Sully:   On my list.   Clint Eastwood does know how to tell a story.

War Dogs:  A comedy about Middle Eastern terrorism.   Because ISIS is just so damn funny.

When the Bough Breaks:  This movie will fall.

Dinner last night:   Mexican feast at Lucy's El Adobe.

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