328: THE OFFICIAL OPENING OF CONSTANTINE'S BRIDGE BUILT OVER THE DANUBE.
E-Z Pass lane?
1610: JOHN GUY SETS SAIL FROM BRISTOL WITH 30 OTHER COLONISTS FOR NEWFOUNDLAND.
What a Guy.
1687: ISAAC NEWTON PUBLISHES PHILOSOPHIAE NATURALIS PRINCIPA MATHEMATICA.
Which is Latin for "fucking apple hit me in the head."
1810: CIRCUS EXECUTIVE P.T. BARNUM IS BORN.
In the center ring.
1813: WAR OF 1812 - BRITISH RAIDS ON PLATTSBURG, NEW YORK.
Boy, that got close to me. If I was alive in 1813.
1841: THOMAS COOK ORGANIZES THE FIRST PACKAGE TRAVEL EXCURSION FROM LEICESTER TO LOUGHBOROUGH.
Continental breakfast included.
1884: GERMANY TAKES POSSESSION OF CAMEROON.
Because it was there.
1915: THE LIBERTY BELL LEAVES PHILADELPHIA BY SPECIAL TRAIN ON ITS WAY TO THE PANAMA-PACIFIC EXPOSITION. THIS WILL BE ITS LAST TRIP OUTSIDE OF PENNSYLVANIA.
Hey, where did that crack come from?
1929: ACTRESS KATHERINE HELMOND IS BORN.
Jessica from TV's underrated "Soap."
1934: ON BLOODY THURSDAY, POLICE OPEN FIRE ON STRIKING LONGSHOREMEN IN SAN FRANCISCO.
Hence the name of the day.
1935: THE NATIONAL LABOR RELATIONS ACT IS SIGNED INTO LAW BY PRESIDENT FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT.
Okay, everybody can go home early.
1937: LUNCHEON MEAT SPAM IS INTRODUCED INTO THE MARKET BY HORMEL.
Meat? In a can??
1945: WORLD WAR II - THE LIBERATION OF THE PHILIPPINES IS DECLARED.
Good, now they can open some telemarketing call centers.
1946: THE BIKINI GOES ON SALE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PARIS.
Hey now.
1948: NATIONAL HEALTH SERVICE ACTS CREATE THE NATIONAL PUBLIC HEALTH SYSTEM IN THE UNITED KINGDOM.
And some people are still waiting for appointments.
1950: MUSICIAN HUEY LEWIS IS BORN.
Doppelganger to Tim McCarver.
No wall here.
1954: THE BBC BROADCASTS ITS FIRST TELEVISION NEWS BULLETIN.
"Breaking news. We are broadcasting our first news bulletin."
1954: ELVIS PRESLEY RECORDS HIS FIRST SINGLE "THAT'S ALL RIGHT."
One hit wonder.
1963: ACTRESS EDIE FALCO IS BORN.
Also brilliant as "Nurse Jackie." Check it out on Showtime On Demand.
1971: THE 26TH AMENDMENT TO THE US CONSTITUTION, LOWERING THE AGE VOTING AGE FROM 21 TO 18, IS FORMALLY CERTIFIED BY PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON.
Personally, I would argue that all citizens must pass an American History test to vote at all.
1975: ARTHUR ASHE BECOMES THE FIRST BLACK MAN TO WIN THE WIMBLEDON SINGLES TITLE.
Had the same name as my orthodontist.
1983: TRUMPET PLAYER HARRY JAMES DIES.
Married to Betty Grable. Blow on that.
1989: IRAN-CONTRA AFFAIR - OLIVER NORTH IS SENTENCED TO A THREE-YEAR SUSPENDED PRISON TERM WITH PROBATION, FINES AND HOURS OF COMMUNITY SERVICE. HIS CONVICTIONS ARE LATER OVERTURNED.
So Iran slept with somebody named Contra?
1996: DOLLY THE SHEEP BECOMES THE FIRST MAMMAL CLONED FROM AN ADULT CELL.
I still wouldn't want to sleep with a sheep.
2002: BASEBALL STAR TED WILLIAMS DIES.
Cue the soundtrack from "Frozen."
Dinner last night: Cheeseburger at the Hollywood Bowl.
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