Surprise! You've Expired

 

It's not a way to start off your week.

Last Monday, I was doing a very simple task at the home office.   My church is changing bank accounts.   I'm one of the check signers, so I have to be validated by the bank.   Can you send us a jpeg of your driver's license?

Easy peasy.

I lay my license down on my scanner and up it pops on my computer screen.

What???

Shit.

My driver's license had actually expired on my birthday.  Three weeks ago.

What the fuck.

I had never received a renewal note in the mail.   I realize that now one government body might be fouling up another government body, given the current ineptitude of the Post Office in LA.   

Meanwhile, I've been driving around for three weeks.   Expired.

Even more comical?  One week after my birthday, I had driven off the Toyota Santa Monica lot with a brand new leased Highlander.   Indeed, the sales guy and I had even a long discussion over the fact that we celebrated the same birth day.  He didn't catch that my expiration date was 2021.  Neither did his sales manager.  Or the finance guy.

D'oh.

So, you contemplate the worst case scenario in front of you.   Nobody likes to go to the Department of Motor Vehicles for general reasons.  It is even more horrific when you realize that you have to go on that very same day.  During COVID-19, for Pete's sake.

As I drove to the Santa Monica DMV, I was suddenly aware of every car around me.   I stayed in the far right lane.  I suddenly was the little old lady driving to church on Sunday.

When I arrived at the DMV, I saw the pandemic in action.  About thirty or so people queued up outside waiting to get in.  All masked.

Ugh!

Within the next hour, however, I would make a startling discovery.   As a result of all these COVID protocols, the DMV actually worked efficiently.

As you waited on line, a worker came over and asked you what you needed.   She gave you the necessary form.   And, oh yeah, took my temperature.

Indeed, the line went fast.   Eventually, I was no longer last in line.  I was first.  At the door, a security guy escorted me into the computer area.  I needed to fill out a form on-line.   When I was done, I returned to the guy who told me to go and wait in my car.  I would receive two texts.  When the second one hit my phone, that was my cue to go back inside.

Within ten minutes, that's what exactly happened.  As I approached the building, I could already hear my number being called.

"Please go to Window 17."

The lady there was kind and efficient.  I asked her why I had never received a renewal note in the mail.

"You're not the first person to ask that question."

Friggin' Postal Service.

I complimented her for her speed and efficiency, especially since everybody usually trashes DMV workers.   I was at her window a total of five minutes.

I was directed to the camera window.   

"Remove your mask please and smile."

Five minutes and out.

All totaled, the snafu had absorbed only about 75 minutes of my day.  I was even moved to fill out a card complimenting the service.   Hell, I never ever do that.

Indeed, COVID will soon be gone.   And then everybody can go back to trashing the DMV.  But, for one startling moment, they actually were heroes.

Dinner last night: Leftover chili.