Wait! You Watched What??!!!

 

Give me a break, will ya?   After the last twelve months of being cooped up without a movie theater to go to, I was bound to make a bad choice sooner or later.

Maybe I was feeling a little nostalgic for the old days...not that I was around for them.  Back when feature films came with cartoons.  Now, truth be told, I was always partial to Bugs and Daffy.  But, from what I have seen from Tom and Jerry on TCM, they could be fun, too.   And now they're getting their own movie albeit in the ten or so open theaters and on HBO Max.   I figured this was going to be 12 or so 7-minute cartoons stitched together.

Well, guess what, folks.  This ain't a cartoon.  Not hardly.  It's essentially a live action movie with live action actors and the occasional computer graphic of an animal.   Any resemblance to Tom and Jerry of days gone by....well, from the small print at the end of any movie...is hardly co-incidental.   In fact, cat and mouse should sue the trousers off the clowns that made this mess.

Okay, yes, Tom and Jerry did interact with real actors in the past.  Dancing with Gene Kelly.  Swimming with Esther Williams.   Here they are supporting players to some inane story about a fancy New York hotel and its workers played by a bunch of people I have never heard of save for the annoying Colin Jost.  The way the stars get played is almost a subplot.   The hotel has a resident mouse and they bring in a cat to catch him.  

So, there are moments that are vintage Tom and Jerry with anvils to the head, etc..  But with all the real life scenery, the so-called animation looks like an intrusion.   Watch (well, don't really) the scene where Tom and Jerry go to Yankee Stadium and catch a foul ball.   Oy.

The idiots behind this swill do remember that you never really heard Tom and Jerry back in the day.  And they don't talk here and convey messages by playing countless games of charades with the actors.  But when Tom is playing piano in a night club, he can suddenly sing.  What?   And how come all the other so-called animated animals can speak???   Hello?  Is anybody out there?

And, of course, in ultra-self conscious 2021, we've got diversity coming out of the ears in this one.   Tom's consciences?  Black voices.   Seagulls do rap and hip hop.  There is a multi-cultural wedding and I have no idea how the powers that be missed the opportunity to include a transgendering duck.

Forgive me.  I was curious.   And consider this your official warning.   This is not Grandpa's Tom and Jerry.

LEN'S RATING:  One star.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chinese food.