947: THE LATER HAN IS FOUNDED BY LIU ZHIYUAN. HE DECLARES HIMSELF EMPEROR.
Better Later than Never.
1629: CHARLES I DISSOLVES THE PARLIAMENT OF ENGLAND, BEGINNING THE ELEVEN YEAR PERIOD KNOWN AS THE PERSONAL RULE.
When you want something done right...
1814: EMPEROR NAPOLEON I IS DEFEATED AT THE BATTLE OF LAON.
Shrimp.
1876: THE FIRST SUCCESSFUL TEST OF A TELEPHONE IS MADE BY ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL.
Please stand by. Your call is important to me.
1888: ACTOR BARRY FITZGERALD IS BORN.
Going his way?
1891: ALMON STROWGER PATENTS THE STROWGER SWITCH, A DEVICE WHICH LED TO THE AUTOMATION OF TELEPHONE CIRCUIT SWITCHING.
Almon's joy.
1913: ACTIVIST HARRIET TUBMAN DIES.
Soon to be on your 20 dollar bill.
1922: MAHATMA GANDHI IS ARRESTED IN INDIA, TRIED FOR SEDITION, AND SENTENCED TO SIX YEARS, ONLY TO BE RELEASED AFTER NEARLY TWO YEARS FOR AN APPENDICITIS OPERATION.
Yeah, sure. Show us the appendix.
1928: ASSASSIN JAMES EARL RAY IS BORN.
Hey, wait till you see what happens on his birthday later on.
1933: THE LONG BEACH EARTHQUAKE IMPACTS LOS ANGELES, LEAVING AROUND 108 PEOPLE DEAD.
And millions of other people awfully nervous.
1945: THE US AIR FORCE FIREBOMBS TOKYO, KILLING MORE THAN 100,000 PEOPLE, MOSTLY CIVILIANS.
And also mostly Japanese.
1957: TERRORIST OSAMA BIN LADEN IS BORN.
Still unsure why it took so long to get him. I mean, he was on dialysis. Find the one extension cord in Afghanistan.
1958: ACTRESS SHARON STONE IS BORN.
In her honor, no women should wear underwear today.
1959: FEARING AN ABDUCTION ATTEMPT BY CHINA, THOUSANDS OF TIBETANS SURROUND THE DALAI LAMA'S PALACE TO PREVENT HIS REMOVAL.
Later to be tried in the US Capitol Building circa January 2021.
1969: JAMES EARL RAY PLEADS GUILTY TO ASSASSINATING MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. HE LATER UNSUCCESSFULLY ATTEMPTS TO RECANT.
We're going with your first thought. Oh, and happy birthday.
1970: CAPTAIN ERNEST MEDINA IS CHARGED BY THE US MILITARY WITH MY LAI WAR CRIMES.
This seems like yesterday. Except it wasn't.
1977: ASTRONOMERS DISCOVER THE RINGS OF URANUS.
Leave my anus alone.
1983: COUNTRY SINGER CARRIE UNDERWOOD IS BORN.
That stupid show actually discovered one of the biggest country stars ever.
1986: ACTOR RAY MILLAND DIES.
Your lost weekend just got longer.
1988: SINGER ANDY GIBB DIES.
He died so young, but he dated Victoria Principal, so life didn't suck completely.
1998: ACTOR LLOYD BRIDGES DIES.
He picked the wrong day to stop living.
2019: A BOEING 737 MAX CRASHES IN ETHIOPIA, LEADING TO ALL 737 MAX AIRCRAFT BEING GROUNDED WORLDWIDE.
See Agent.
Dinner last night: Grilled Taylor Ham and egg on pretzel bread.
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