306: MARTYRDOM OF SAINT DEMETRIUS OF THESSALONIKI.
He's a martyr for one day. I know some people who have been pulling that shit for years.
1597: DURING THE IMJIN WAR, ADMIRAL YI SUN-SIN ROUTS THE JAPANESE NAVY OF 300 SHIPS WITH ONLY 13 SHIPS.
300 vs. 13? Talk about your Vegas odds. Meanwhile, Sun-Sin sounds like a cheap casino on the Strip.
1689: GENERAL PICCOLOMINI OF AUSTRIA BURNED DOWN SKOPJE TO PREVENT THE SPREAD OF CHOLERA. HE DIED OF CHOLERA HIMSELF SOON AFTER.
A tragic waste of lighter fluid.
1774: THE FIRST CONTINENTAL CONGRESS ADJOINS IN PHILADELPHIA.
They sure must have talked a lot because they didn't come up with anything concrete until two years later.
1775: KING GEORGE III GOES BEFORE PARLIAMENT TO DECLARE THE AMERICAN COLONIES IN REBELLION, AND AUTHORIZED A MILITARY RESPONSE TO QUELL THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION.
Too late, because they're already talking this up in Philly.
1776: BENJAMIN FRANKLIN DEPARTS FROM AMERICA FOR FRANCE ON A MISSION TO SEEK FRENCH SUPPORT FOR THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION.
Don't count on those scumbags for anything.
1811: THE ARGENTINE GOVERNMENT DECLARES THE FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION FOR THE PRESS BY DECREE.
So does that mean no more firing squads???
1825: THE ERIE CANAL OPENS FOR PASSAGE FROM ALBANY, NEW YORK TO LAKE ERIE.
Neither one is a preferred destination for me.
1861: THE PONY EXPRESS OFFICIALLY CEASES OPERATIONS.
And, in 2022, there may go the Post Office as well.
1881: THE GUNFIGHT AT THE OK CORRAL TAKES PLACE AT TOMBSTONE, ARIZONA.
Oh? So this was more than just a movie?
1914: ACTOR JACKIE COOGAN IS BORN.
Uncle Fester!!!
1936: THE FIRST ELECTRIC GENERATOR AT HOOVER DAM GOES INTO FULL OPERATION.
That has to be one long extension cord.
1943: DURING WW II. THERE IS THE FIRST FLIGHT OF "PFEIL."
I have no idea what this is. Except Bobby Pfeil was a utility infielder for the 1969 New York Mets and the guy who didn't make their post season roster.
1946: GAME SHOW HOST PAT SAJAK IS BORN.
H_pp_ B_rt__y.
1947: ACTRESS JACLYN SMITH IS BORN.
The birth of an angel...
1947: HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON IS BORN.
...and a devil. Again, I have no horse in this race, folks.
1948: KILLER SMOG SETTLES INTO DONORA, PENNSYLVANIA.
Who knew there was that much traffic in Donora, Pennsylvania?
1952: ACTRESS HATTIE MCDANIEL DIES.
Really, really gone with the wind.
1955: NGO DINH DIEM DECLARES HIMSELF PREMIER OF SOUTH VIETNAM.
He is paid on a "per diem" basis.
1958: PAN AM MAKES THE FIRST COMMERCIAL FLIGHT OF THE BOEING 707 FROM NEW YORK TO PARIS.
A now defunct airline and a soon-to-be-defunct television show.
1967: MOHAMMED REZA PAHLAVI CROWNS HIMSELF EMPEROR OF IRAN.
Sort of like when you're playing checkers and somebody says "king me."
1984: BABY FAE RECEIVES A HEART TRANSPLANT FROM A BABOON.
And they wonder why the kid is now climbing trees.
1986: GAME SEVEN OF THE 1986 WORLD SERIES IS RAINED OUT. I GO WITH THE BIBSTERS TO PIPER'S KILT FOR A BURGER.
If you don't get that reference, no worries. It's written for an audience of one.
1994: JORDAN AND ISRAEL SIGN A PEACE TREATY.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peace in the Mideast. Ha!
2001: THE UNITED STATES PASSES THE USA PATRIOT ACT INTO LAW.
It's still not a fence.
Dinner last night: Broccoli salad.
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