475: ROMULUS AUGUSTULUS IS PROCLAIMED WESTERN ROMAN EMPEROR.
And he battled the Eastern Roman Emperor in a one-game sudden death playoff.
1517: MARTIN LUTHER POSTS HIS 95 THESES ON THE DOOR OF THE CASTLE CHURCH IN WITTENBERG.
And here come the Protestants. Meanwhile, Luther couldn't come up with five more to make it an even 100.
1822: EMPEROR AGUSTIN DE ITURBIDE ATTEMPTS TO DISSOLVE THE MEXICAN EMPIRE.
Yeah, that worked well. Have you seen my local car wash lately?
1860: GIRL SCOUT FOUNDER JULIETTE LOW IS BORN.
I wonder if her father's name was Hy.
1861: DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR. UNION GENERAL WINFIELD SCOTT, CITING FAILING HEALTH, RESIGNS AS COMMANDER OF THE UNITED STATES ARMY.
Ulysses S. Grant, a nation turns its eyes on you.
1864: NEVADA IS ADMITTED AS THE 36TH US STATE.
Electing Harry Reid to the Senate, their statehood should be revoked.
1876: A MONSTER CYCLONE RAVAGES INDIA, RESULTING IN OVER 200,000 DEATHS.
A silver lining this day. This storm wiped out about 10,000 telemarketers.
1896: ACTRESS ETHEL WATERS IS BORN.
Still waters didn't run deep with her parents.
1912: SINGER DALE EVANS IS BORN.
Happy trails to you.
1913: THE INDIANAPOLIS STREET CAR STRIKE AND SUBSEQUENT RIOT BEGINS.
Did the street cars go on strike or was it the guys who drove them? Please e-mail me.
1915: ORGANIST JANE JARVIS IS BORN.
Meet the Mets, Meet the Mets, step right up and meet the Mets....
1918: BANAT REPUBLIC IS FOUNDED.
I'm not done. Bring your kiddies, bring your wife, guaranteed to have the time of your life....
1923: THE FIRST OF 160 CONSECUTIVE DAYS OF 100 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT AT MARBLE BAR, AUSTRALIA.
Because the Mets are really sockin' the ball, knocking those home runs over the wall...
1924: WORLD SAVINGS DAY IS ANNOUNCED IN MILAN, ITALY.
East side, west side, everybody's coming down to meet the M-E-T-S of New York Town. Okay, I'm done.
1926: MAGICIAN HARRY HOUDINI DIES OF GANGRENE THAT DEVELOPED AFTER HIS APPENDIX RUPTURED.
Abracadabra, you're dead.
1931: JOURNALIST DAN RATHER IS BORN.
What's the frequency, Kenneth?
1940: THE BATTLE OF BRITAIN ENDS AS THE UNITED KINGDOM PREVENTS A POSSIBLE GERMAN INVASION.
No thanks to Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
1941: AFTER 14 YEARS OF WORK, MOUNT RUSHMORE IS COMPLETED.
That's 3-and-a-half years per head.
1943: FOOTBALL PLAYER BRIAN PICCOLO IS BORN.
I thought he was a musician. I keep hearing about this song.
1947: ACTRESS DEIDRE HALL IS BORN.
And so begins the days of her life.
1950: ACTOR JOHN CANDY IS BORN.
His parents were candymakers. Ha, ha.
1956: THE UNITED KINGDOM AND FRANCE BEGIN BOMBING EGYPT TO FORCE THE REOPENING OF THE SUEZ CANAL.
Does a single day in history pass without some nonsense in this part of the world?
1959: LEE HARVEY OSWALD ATTEMPTS TO RENOUNCE HIS AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP AT THE US EMBASSY IN MOSCOW.
And, yet, nobody in our federal agencies kept tabs on this guy.
1961: IN THE SOVIET UNION, JOSEPH STALIN'S BODY IS REMOVED FROM LENIN'S TOMB.
Was this some sort of college initiation prank?
1968: US PRESIDENT LYNDON B. JOHNSON ANNOUNCES TO THE NATION THAT HE HAS ORDERED A COMPLETE CESSATION OF ALL AIR, NAVAL, AND ARTILLERY BOMBARDMENT OF NORTH VIET NAM.
Yeah, how did that work out?
1984: INDIAN PRIME MINISTER INDIRA GANDHI IS ASSASSINATED.
Here yesterday, gandhi today.
1988: ACTOR JOHN HOUSEMAN DIES.
Law students, please see the bulletin board for your final grades.
1991: PRODUCER JOSEPH PAPP DIES.
Schmeared.
1993: DIRECTOR FEDERICO FELLINI DIES.
La Dolce Morta.
1993: ACTOR RIVER PHOENIX DIES.
This Phoenix didn't rise.
1994: AN AMERICAN EAGLE ATR-72 CRASHES IN INDIANA, KILLING 68 PASSENGERS.
And here come the crashes.
1996: A FOKKER F100 CRASHES INTO SEVERAL HOUSES IN BRAZIL, KILLING 100.
And...
1999: EGYPTAIR FLIGHT 990 CRASHES OFF THE COAST OF MASSACHUSETTS, KILLING ALL 217 ON-BOARD.
And...
2000: A SINGAPORE AIRLINES PLANE COLLIDES WITH EQUIPMENT UPON TAKEOFF IN TAIWAN, KILLING 83.
And...
2000: A CHARTERED PLANE EXPLORES AFTER TAKEOFF IN NORTHERN ANGOLA, KILLING 50.
That enough for you? If it's October 31, stay on the ground, please.
2008: AUTHOR STUD TERKEL DIES.
But not in a plane crash.
2010: LAWYER THEODORE SORENSEN DIES.
Nor was he.
2017: A TRUCK DRIVES ONTO THE SIDEWALK IN LOWER MANHATTAN, KILLING EIGHT PEOPLE.
At least it wasn't a plane.
Dinner last night: Chicken parm at Trattoria Del Arte.
No comments:
Post a Comment