Hello Larry

I guess nothing blew up yesterday. CNN finally got to run that blasted tribute to Larry King---honoring his 50 years of clogging our ears.

The two hour special was incomplete as far as I was concerned. So much vital information was missing. You would think they would have had plenty of time to cover the following:

---All the juicy details behind the photo op shown above when he got busted for bad checks.

---The well-known fact all over Hollywood and CNN that Larry farts continuously throughout his entire show. His studio apparently has to be aired out nightly. Production people around CNN try to avoid working his show as much as possible.

---That he is probably one of the cheapest TV personalities around. He never ever picks up a restaurant tab.

---That most female interns on his show are warned about his "happy hands" before they meet him.

---The fact that he is a sex addict as was evidenced by me first hand. Back when he was doing an overnight radio show for a company I worked for, I would spend one evening a year in Arlington, Virginia. Several colleagues and I would do a quick on-air survey of his listeners to find out what they were up and listening to this idiot (we refined the language for the situation.) On the hourly breaks which were about 8 minutes long, Larry would pick up the studio phone and call whatever number wife he had at the time. And, in front of me and anybody else, he proceeded to sex-talk her on the phone.

"What are you wearing right now?"

"Is it the nightie I like?"

"How do you have your hair?"

"Did you shave your legs this morning?"

One year, one of my colleagues was female and she ran back to her hotel room after one hour of listening to this x-rated Bob Newhart. She said the next morning that she felt so dirty she had to take a long hot shower.

Larry probably would have liked to know that.

What a pig.

Here's to another 50, Larry. Minutes, that is.

Dinner last night: beef with broccoli.