And Mr. Snarky is on deck.
---Blake DeWitt (pictured) is the accidental third baseman for the Dodgers. He wasn't supposed to be playing higher than Double A ball this season, but, due to injuries, he has assumed the job and won't let go.
---Batting over .300, 6 for 6 with the bases loaded, and only 22.
---And now, in the role of Wally Pipp, Mr. Nomar Garciaparra.
---Thus far this season, Blake is the "feel good" story, while Andruw Jones is the "look lousy" story of the year.
---Now Mr. Misspelling has fluid on the knee. Are they sure it's not gravy?
---The Dodgers will have to find something for him to do. I'd suggest making him a hot dog vendor, but he might eat right through the profits.
---I haven't seen somebody go South so quickly since Al Sharpton heard there were voting machine malfunctions in Florida.
---By the way, it has come out that the big fat Reverend owes beau bucks in back taxes.
---How can you be behind in your income taxes if you don't have a discernible job?
---Just what are the specifications and requirements to be a lazy, loud mouthed oaf?
---Unfortunately, to watch the Mets play the Yankees on ESPN Sunday night, I was forced to get ear cancer by listening to the worst play-by-play team ever, Jon Miller and Joe Morgan.
---Big Head Miller is so freakin' effected with his pompous name pronounciations. Carlos Bell-tron. Adrian Bell-tray.
---Ass-holay.
---And when does somebody tell Joe Morgan he didn't invent the sport of baseball? I've never heard somebody speak so well, yet say so little.
---Why, he could be a Black candidate for President.
---Barack Obama, on Good Morning America, told everybody to lay off his wife.
---Trust me. I had no intention to lay on her whatsoever.
---Next time you see footage of her on the nightly news, watch the way she walks.
---Yep, Michelle Obama would be our initial First Lady with flat feet.
---Please send those orthotics to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
---Seriously, she lumbers and waddles. Sort of like a duck on the Jerry Lewis Telethon.
---Hopefully, she'll be proud of America when she's able to find herself a good podiatrist.
---Hillary's only hope is if the ball goes through Bill Buckner's legs.
---The way Mrs. Clinton is hanging in there, you begin to think she has photos of Obama in bed with Miley Cyrus.
---I guess she figures every husband sleeps around.
---There's a great radio commercial here in Los Angeles for a plumbing service. They will guarantee that the guy who shows up for the service call will smell good.
---Now, who wants to be the one to get close to find out?
---I'd give bonus points if the guy's pants aren't drooping down his ass. I once had a washing machine repair guy show up and I saw more of his behind than his wife ever did.
---Anything that dropped on the floor I immediately offered to pick up.
---On last night's Idol finals, the long awaited Battles of the Davids, producers put the whole thing in the framework of a championship boxing match.
---Because Idol's core audience, pre-teen girls and their mothers, are always watching the fights on HBO?
---When they trotted out Jim Lampley, I'm betting half the audience didn't know the difference between him and John McCain.
---By the way, making the rounds on the internet is a gag about all the products that are younger than McCain.
---The only problem is that type of joke is older than anything else.
---I'm getting soft. Jeez, even I feel better for Ted Kennedy.
---Does anybody else note the irony that all three Kennedy political brothers are victims of something to the brain?
---Oddly enough, it took a brain tumor to do what the voting electorate of Massachusetts couldn't do for the last 45 years.
---Now, I'm wondering if he wasn't already having these brain blips as early as 40 years ago. Heck, then I would get it.
---"When I returned, Mary Jo and the car were gone."
And, even though I haven't drowned while carrying a Senator's unborn child, I am done here, too.
Dinner last night: Super All Beef Dodger Dog at the game, where my Billingsley shirt secured the kid another win.
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