To that half of our country who is pissed this morning...I told you the sun was coming up today regardless. ---Oprah was probably so excited she might even have slept with Stedman. ---Good news for Obama's illegal alien aunt: under his term, she can get a driver's license, too. ---All voting at the same Chicago polling place: Barack Obama, William Ayers, Louis Farrakahn, Rev. Jeremiah Wright. ---I doubt they carpooled. ---I still think that our electoral process should have the loser become the vice president. A great way to force bipartisan unity. The only diff is that the President gets the window office. ---Now that electioneering is over, the global warming hysterics can finally stop flooding my mailbox with literature devoted to saving the environment. ---If you're thinking you might need an ultrasound three or four years down the road, I would suggest you make your appointment now. ---Is it possible to pre-plan for cancer? ---Does this all mean that Demond Wilson will be up for Kennedy Center honors next year? ---Listening to all those crazy exit polls, people were saying that the economy is the biggest problem facing America today. What about the New York Met bullpen? ---Okay, you Obama kids, no running around the White House halls with that grape soda!! ---From the silver lining department: won't it be fun to have that idiot Joe Biden hanging around for the next four years? ---Now, this lunkhead has already gone public with the news that our foreign enemies will most certainly challenge President Obama in his first year. ---Joe, can you give me some exact dates so I can clear my schedule? ---And, hopefully, it won't be during the summer. It's tough to sync up that international crisis around my Dodger games and the Hollywood Bowl. I'm headed down to my bunker now. See ya for more laughs tomorrow. Dinner last night: Salad bar from Gelson's.
---It's official: let the race for 2012 now begin!
---Now Sarah Palin is free to do a sitcom for Fox. Sarah, I have ideas. Call me. We can do the pitch meeting together.
---And McCain can finally get back to the early bird special at Boston Market.
---Why do I think he has six months of "Murder She Wrote" episodes backlogged on his TiVo?
---Wait till Obama gets into the White House and sees all those secret passageways JFK used to shuttle in the babes.
---There'll be one major difference between an Obama presidency and a Kennedy presidency. I doubt Angie Dickinson can still get down on her knees in the Oval Office.
---JFK's first year in the White House was called Camelot. And that's probably because he did.
---I will pause while you get that joke.
---Still waiting.
---Still waiting.
---Okay, I can move on.
---While Chicago celebrated like crazy last night, I'm guessing they would still trade in an Obama victory for a Cub World Series parade.
1 comment:
I am just catching up with a week or more worth of material from Mr. Speaks. And the comments of the ever so optimistic Mr. Anonymous the First of the luxurious Barbara Judith Apartments. I am actually less depressed than I imagined I would be--which could mean I am at the bottom of the Beck Depression Inventory OR finally becoming resigned to the fact that I am a mere cog in the proverbial machine of the universe. Or I have finally had just the right amount of wine. Read my blog. I am now a equanaminous (I don't know if that one is actually a word) member of the loyal opposition.
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