Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It's Off to Wednesday We Go

From high above the country at 35,000, where I'm really grumpy and sleepy.

---The guy next to me is sneezy.

---The guy in 8D doesn't look very happy.

---When you look at the country from this distance, you don't see how dopey they are.

---At the Admirals Club in NY, there are now four computers for use. Except they are always tied up by some senior citizens.

---What could they possibly need the internet for? The AARP website?

---One guy sat there and stared at the screen, reading the same ESPN story over and over.

---Excuse me, sir, I'm still a working stiff and need to check in with somebody that pays my salary.

---In the way!

---Of course, when I'm that age, I'll still be totally viable.

---American Airlines trashed my rolling luggage on the way in. Ended up minus a wheel and half a bottom.

---The only way they would let me claim any damage is if something was protruding.

---You mean, like a knife?

---I've flown a million miles on them and this is really the first luggage incident ever. So I'm not that pissed.

---But, I am thinking about that commercial where the ape throws a suitcase around a cage. Then, I look at some of the guys on the tarmac and I wonder why they downsized from the simian.

---Who knew that the joking President Obama got his start in stand-up? At Catch A Rising Democrat?

---With all the funny lines on Leno and 60 Minutes, I was waiting for him to say "Take my wife, please."

---Of course, he would have had no takers.

---And we all thought Biden was the funny one.

---Of course, Obama's nothing without his teleprompter. But, then again, neither is anybody who's on SNL.

---On NY radio, I don't think I heard a single voice in English.

---Except for the weatherman, Mr. G, who still is telling you to "schlep the umbrella."

---I swear I heard this show. "Rambling with Juan Gambling."

---The World Baseball Classic hit Dodger Stadium hard over the weekend. I watched the finals on TV in NY. Between Japan and Korea.

---The Dodger Dogs might have really been...

---With all the Asians in attendance, I wonder how many fender benders there were in the parking lot.

---Hopefully, I don't find any half-eaten eel under my seat when I show up for Opening Day in three weeks.

---The flight attendant says I need to put the computer away for landing.

---And then did you hear about...

---Okay, Miss, I am shutting it down now!

Bye.

Dinner last night: Back in LA at Islands for a BLT.




1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I like our sensitive President's crack about the Special Olympics, especially since the man who got him elected--David Axelrod--has a daughter who's in the Special Olympics. Oops!