I'm no fool. No, siree. I'm gonna live to be 93.
---A glistening print of Disney’s Pinocchio came out on DVD yesterday and now I wish the growing nose thing applied to our leaders in Washington.
---For all the lies told in our nation’s capital, noses would be as long as Route 66.
---Nasal passages would need to have rest stops.
---The latest series of tall tales revolves around what is in or not in the stimulus package.
---How a couple of million dollars to ACORN is going to give anybody a job is a mystery to me.
---Because when you have an acorn, you will eventually have some nuts.
---That community group is a huge waste of time and only provides stimulus for Dunkin Donuts.
---Hey, you need something to munch on while you’re sitting around all day and bitching how you’ve been screwed by Whitey.
---There was a headline in the paper: Taxpayers take to the streets to protest government job cuts.
---Huh? I’m a taxpayer and I don’t give a shit if there’s one less fat slob braiding her hair behind a glass window at the DMV.
---You want to create jobs? Hire tons of people to build the fence around our borders. Now that’s construction I can get behind.
---The hardest job in America: the one who manages Obama’s Outlook and continually has to change the global address of Cabinet members.
---I'm not surprised that Her Thighness Hillary Clinton is getting along famously with all those Arab leaders. Don't they all screw around with a lot of women, too?
---Latest hot suggestion for the renaming of the Mets’ new ballpark: Debits Field.
---The California unemployment rate is over 10%, but thank God Manny Ramirez is working.
---The Dodgers sold close to 50,000 tickets when sales opened up to the general public last Saturday.
---Which, of course, is bad news for me since I will be showing up at games with same general public.
---The Dodgers wasted no time. Within 24 hours of his signing, there were billboards all over town heralding his return. And radio commercials.
---It's like they had them all ready to go for months, just like when those news organizations write up obituaries as soon as a new Pope is installed.
---RIP Bill Buchanan. The latest Jack Bauer boss on 24 to meet a grisly fate.
---If Jack works for you, it's the kiss of death. Which is why I'm hoping that, in Season 8, Bauer gets a job as Secret Service Agent for Obama.
---Second hardest job in America: The woman who sits across from Chris Brown at the breakfast table and asks him to pass the salt.
---Idol Thoughts on last night's Top 13 Competition: I wish Scott the blind guy could see his own hair style, so he'd ditch the whole Art Garfunkel look.
---In a clip on this kid's family, we find out that his sister is also visually impaired. And now I wonder just how close this family lives to a toxic land fill.
---The Black chick Jasmine is a doll. Her mother, however, is a train wreck. Does anybody at Fox know how to straighten wigs? Which was obviously purchased from the Pam Grier collection.
---Did you notice that, when the finalists' parents were shown, they all have different names. And now I wish I had pursued that career of "divorce attorney."
---Going Home Prediction: Megan and her Sistine Chapel of an arm tattoo. Somebody else as well but producers are allegedly imposing another twist. Perhaps Paula Abdul will be voted off.
---What the hell is a Twitter?
---Well, actually, I do know. It's one of those websites where you tell your friends what you're doing every moment of the day.
---"I just put fabric softener into the wash."
---"Tangelos on sale at Ralph's."
---"I just had to use the bathroom and I can see whole kernels of corn."
---Enough please!!!
---As it is, I think I'm sharing too much by telling you what I had for dinner last night.
---Which, by the way, was...
Dinner last night: Bratwurst from Omaha Steaks.
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