Miss Wednesday's Gowns by Bonwit Teller

Thirty dollars down, next question, Mr. Len...

---I've written it here before, but have I told you that I remain addicted to "What's My Line?" reruns on the Game Show Network.

---Running at 3AM Eastern, this is a mainstay on my TiVo. And is more fun than any game show you find on TV right now.

---Of course, a TV game show these days requires you to run around some toilet bowl countries in the world where you can luncheon on a plateful of stir fried beetles.

---"What's My Line?" gives you a wonderful time capsule of show business. With episodes shown in sequence, right now they're up to Labor Day 1959. NY has been hot and humid all summer until a cold front has dropped down from Canada.

---It is mentioned that Debbie Reynolds has just divorced Eddie Fisher. And the New Yorkers on the panel are still lamenting the departure of the Dodgers and the Giants.

---The home version of the game is shown below and the box allegedly contains some real celebrities.

---Just what celebrity would fit into a box?

---Well, most recently, I guess that could be Paul Harvey.

---And the rest of that story is over.

---I've been hearing his daily commentary on KABC and I'm considering he is still taping new ones. They've been using sound-alikes for years. For all we know, Harvey croaked five years ago.

---I contend the same with Don Pardo who is still announcing on SNL, despite the fact that he should be around 125 years old.

---I swear I heard Pardo once announce on Jeopardy that disciple Simon Peter was the reigning champion.

---They have to be using some sound-alike who now vocally masquerades as Don Pardo on SNL.

---Then, there's my writing partner who claims that Bob Hope died months before his 100th birthday and that the family concocted a ruse so they could sell more commemorative videos.

---Yes, my friend claim Hope was kept in an air conditioned room on dry ice until he hit 100.

---I can see it now. Dolores Hope doing her daily chores. Reading the paper. Having her oatmeal. Adjusting the coolant under her dead husband's bed.

---So, a band of evil thugs, led by an arrogant Black man, have stormed and taken over the White House.

---A special report on Fox News? Nope, that was this week's 2-hour episode of "24." Although it is very easy to confuse the two.

---The "24" terrorists are actually trying to wrest control of the US Government from a Female President. And didn't that already happen during last year's primary season?

---Why do I think that this plotline gets Bill Clinton as a viewer every week? With a big bag of Funyans and a cold one.

---No, wait, the wife is out of town. No way Bill is home alone.

---Via Netflix, I caught up with the 1971 documentary "FTA."

---Don't know it? I wish I didn't. It followed an anti-war group led by Kiefer's dad and Henry Fonda's daughter as they entertained the troops during the Christmas season in the early 70s.

---I used the word "troops" loosely. I think they got as far as a sake bar in Japan.

---This film is a complete snooze and would have easily killed the Viet Cong with boredom.

---It was like a Bob Hope Christmas Show without writers.

---And when you see Hanoi Jane during her biggest mouthed days, you realize what a despicable human being she was.

---No wonder John Wayne called her "re-goddamn-diculous."

---And here's something else that is "re-goddamn-diculous," the woman on the right. Today's nominee for Moron of the Week. That's her mugshot and it's available in wallet size and personally autographed.

---Seems she walked into a McDonald's and ordered some Chicken McNuggets. Once paid for, she was told they were all out. And the clerk nicely asked what she would like instead.

---Instead of asking for the McRib sandwich, this idiot called 911 and complained. And called this injustice an "emergency."

---This only could happen in America. This pile of monkey dung ties up an operator with her fast food injustice while somebody on the other side of town might be writhing on the floor with a heart attack.

---Aw, crap, I'm out of toothpaste. Time to call the paramedics.

---In Len Land, the Secretary of Deportation is the most important person in my cabinet. And this woman wins a one way ticket to whatever place has the most poisonous snakes.

---Actually that just might be Congress.

Dinner last night: Chicken scampi and risotto.