I used to be pretty up on pop culture. I knew who was hot and who was not. Whether I liked a celebrity or not, I had a sense of who they were and what they were doing.
No more.
Last Saturday, I was getting my hair cut and was flipping through one of those star magazines that are the primary reading/looking at pictures material in most salons. As I snapped through one page after another, I realized that I had no fucking clue who any of the people were. What is a Niecy Nash? What is a Jake Pavelka? And is there anybody out there who gives a damn about anybody named Kardashian?
Admittedly, I'm now a snob. I don't go to movies on opening weekend. I rarely give a new TV show more than two weeks to hook me. And I stopped listening to any music written after 1999.
Retiring to the comfort of Dodger Stadium on Sunday, I felt assured that I certainly would know all the people there that day. And then it happened. Out to throw out the ceremonial first pitch...
Famed actor Jonathan Goldsmith.
WHO??????????
To make my ignorance even more embarrassing, the crowd around me screamed wildly.
WHO?????????
I looked at my seatmate for help. None was offered.
Meanwhile, Goldsmith bounced the ball to the plate and more wild cheers.
Later on, Goldsmith was on Diamondvision, reading the Dodgers' code of fan conduct. The fans went nuts again.
I sat there wondering just which year I had slept through.
To add some more lye into my open mental sore, they put this guy on the big screen once again as he had nestled into his comfy box seats behind home plate. The crowd cheered. He stood and acknowledged them. Several times. The audience wasn't simply milked. They had been churned into heavy cream.
I was so addled that, as soon as I got home, I had to look this dope up on imdb.com. Hmmm. No current series. Never a regular series role. No blockbuster movie on his resume. He did a few weeks on Knots Landing, which would mean I actually watched this man act. After all, when I was totally TV-saavy, I had watched all 341 episodes of Knots. What was I missing? And then I got it.
He is the spokesman on Dos Equis Beer commercials. He's seventy-two and has parlayed nothing into less than nothing. And is now world-famous. Or, at least, among Mexican beer drinkers. I suddenly was ashamed to be on this planet. Digging a little deeper, this numbskull is now calling himself "The Most Interesting Man in the World." According to who? Well, Jonathan Goldsmith. Look at this tool's website and he creates the following montage of everything that clearly defines Jonathan Goldsmith. To top it all off, he acknowledges that the voice he uses on those commercials is an imitation of his old sailing partner, Fernando Lamas. So, indeed, his only claim to fame is mostly stolen from somebody else. But, still, the crowd cheered wildly. Every day and in every way, this country gets just a little more stupid. Dinner last night: Turkey burger and salad at the NY domicile.
5 comments:
Famous to Mexican drunks? Big deal.
"NY domicile?"
No silly - HE isn't claiming to be the most interesting man in the world, it's a script the advertising agency wrote - he's acting. I don't drink Mexican beer or any beer for that matter and I am young enough to be Mr. Goldsmith's daughter, but honey - this southern gal is head over heels in love with the man.
I'm sure if you stopped being a tool and started using some common sense you would understand that he is an actor. As such, actors follow scripts. Dos Equis is a subsidiary of Heineken and he has been employed by an advertising agency to do ads for Dos Equis.
Honestly, the fact that an ad campaign went over your head like this would certainly imply that perhaps it's not this country that is getting a little more stupid. Rather... (I wonder if you can piece this one together.)
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