Thursday, March 1, 2012

If I Tweeted in February 2012

I don't, you know.  But, if I did, this might have made the trip from my mind to the computer screen...

#LenSpeaks   Wake me up when the Dodgers open spring training camp.

#LenSpeaks   Super Bowl, phooey. I watched "The Train," a great WWII adventure starring Burt Lancaster.

#LenSpeaks  Oscar nominee Rooney Mara comes from the family that owns the Giants.  The Team with The Super Bowl Tattoos.

#LenSpeaks  Whitney Houston, thanks for dying on my birthday.  You couldn't have smoked some crack and taken a bath on February 10?

#LenSpeaks  I hate the Grammys, but I may have to watch now that I read Chaka Khan is doing a tribute to the eternally submerged Whitney Houston. 

#LenSpeaks  I went to an industry event a number of years ago where Chaka was so wasted that they tied her to a hook on the wall so she could stand up for the photos with clients. Another solid citizen.

#LenSpeaks  The President is coming to stay at the Beverly Hilton.  Note to Barack:  you may not want to use the bathtub in Room 434.

#LenSpeaks  Or, on second thought, unwrap the complimentary soap and have yourself a nice soak.

#LenSpeaks  Gary Carter, you still haven't made the third out in that tenth inning.  Thanks for the memories.

#LenSpeaks  I have been diagnosed with a torn left meniscus.  Before this, I had no idea I even had one.

#LenSpeaks  Meniscus is one of those words I would like to hear pronounced by that kid Winthrop in "The Music Man."

#LenSpeaks  The First Lady is on a ski vacation at Aspen.  This is the 16th vacation for her in three years.  They don't even get that much time off in the Post Office.

#LenSpeaks  Come to think of it, if I close my eyes, I can see Michelle sitting on a stool behind the counter...asking me if I want to send something "Priority Mail."

#LenSpeaks  By the way, am I the only person who is personally offended when Michelle lectures me on my eating habits?

#LenSpeaks  Geraldo Rivera has a morning radio show now in Los Angeles and I can't turn the radio dial faster.

#LenSpeaks  The Oscar envelopes look like the same ones that Ralph's Supermarket sends you coupons in.

#LenSpeaks  The envelope says "Meryl Streep - Best Actress" and "$1 off Tide Detergent."

#LenSpeaks  The way Billy Crystal is bombing on Oscar night, the biggest laughs of the evening may come from the "In Memorium" segment.

#LenSpeaks  Oscar presenter Chris Rock, please return your hair to Richard Roundtree.  Thank you.

#LenSpeaks  It's Oscar night and what I wouldn't give for one of those flying acrobats to fall on Morgan Freeman right now.

#LenSpeaks  John F. Kennedy was a Catholic.  What would his opinion have been on abortion?  Just wondering.

#LenSpeaks  The President says he can't control gas prices.  Nut, how come that's all he talked about when Bush was in the White House?

#LenSpeaks  Bill Clinton has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.  Funny because he couldn't even prevent a fight with his own wife.

#LenSpeaks  He should be reminded that the correct spelling is "peace" not "piece."

#LenSpeaks  RIP Davy Jones.  Sorry to hear that it really was the Last Train to Clarksville.

Dinner last night:  Chicken apple sausage and salad.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Positive that JFK and his brothers paid for their share of abortions, including the maids they knocked up/raped. Papa Joe wasn't letting anything get in the way of his plans for a political dynasty.

Read an interesting rumor that RFK had a lengthy affair with Rosemary Clooney.