Wednesday, March 7, 2012

This Date in History - March 7


Turning the table on Willard Scott and wishing him a happy birthday.  I think he's turning 127.

161:  EMPEROR ANTONINUS PIUS DIES AND IS SUCCEEDED BY HIS ADOPTIVE SONS MARCUS AURELIUS AND LUCIUS VERUS.

One more son and this could have been a sitcom.  "My Three Gladiators."

238:  ROMAN SUBJECTS IN AFRICA REVOLT AGAINST MAXIMINUS THRAX AND ELECT GORDIAN I AS EMPEROR.

238 years in and the world is already a mess.

321:  EMPEROR CONSTANTINE I DECREES THAT THE DIES SOLIS INVICTI (SUNDAY) IS THE DAY OF REST IN THE EMPIRE.

As if God's word wasn't enough.

1277:  STEPHEN TEMPIER, BISHOP OF PARIS, CONDEMNS 219 PHILOSOPHICAL AND THEOLOGICAL THESES.

Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the Seine.

1724:  POPE INNOCENT XIII DIES.

Talk about your pretentious names.  Everybody's got a little guilt inside.

1799:  NAPOLEON BONAPARTE CAPTURES JAFFA IN PALESTINE.

Already, the Mideast is up for grabs.

1814:  EMPEROR NAPOLEON I OF FRANCE WINS THE BATTLE OF CRAONNE. 

Because Jaffa wasn't enough.

1849:  BOTANIST LUTHER BURBANK IS BORN.

Beautiful Downtown Luther.

1850:  SENATOR DANIEL WEBSTER GIVES HIS "SEVENTH OF MARCH" SPEECH ENDORSING THE COMPROMISE OF 1850 IN ORDER TO PREVENT A POSSIBLE CIVIL WAR. 

As you will read in a moment....

1862:  DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, UNION FORCES DEFEAT CONFEDERATE TROOPS AT PEA RIDGE IN ARKANSAS.

A lot of hot air from Webster wasn't worth the saliva.

1876:  ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL IS GRANTED A PATENT FOR AN INVENTION HE CALLS THE TELEPHONE.

The patent office put him on hold for ten minutes.

1900:  THE GERMAN LINER SS KAISER WILHELM DER GROSSE BECOMES THE FIRST SHIP TO SEND WIRELESS SIGNALS TO SHORE.

The first transmission?  "SEND MORE BRATWURST."

1912:  ROALD AMUNDSEN WRITES THAT HIS EXPEDITION HAD REACHED THE SOUTH POLE ON DECEMBER 14, 1911.

It took him almost three months to find a pen?

1934:  BROADCASTER WILLARD SCOTT IS BORN.

He wasn't born in the 19th Century?  Damn, that's a surprise!

1942:  TELEVANGELIST TAMMY FAYE BAKKER IS BORN.

She's dead already, which means that mascara kills.

1945:  DURING WORLD WAR II, AMERICAN TROOPS SEIZE THE LUDENDORFF BRIDGE OVER THE RHINE AT REMAGEN.

Ah, the Bridge at Remagen.  So, the movie was based on a true story.

1950:  THE SOVIET UNION ISSUES A STATEMENT DENYING THAT KLAUS FUCHS SERVED AS A SOVIET SPY.

I bet he was.  Which means that Russia really fuched up with this one.

1952:  FOOTBALL PLAYER LYNN SWANN IS BORN.

The most un-football name ever.

1960:  TENNIS PLAYER IVAN LENDL IS BORN.

He's retired already.  God, am I getting old???

1965:  ON BLOODY SUNDAY, A GROUP OF 600 CIVIL RIGHTS MARCHERS ARE FORECFULLY BROKEN UP IN SELMA, ALABAMA.

Unrelated question: does Costco sell high-powered hoses?

1967:  ALICE B. TOKLAS DIES.

You should have skipped the brownies.

1985:  THE SONG "WE ARE THE WORLD" IS RELEASED.

And I'm nauseous all over again.

1986:  POLITICIAN JACOB JAVITS DIES.

He always looked more like a salesman at Moe Ginsburg.

1986:  DIVERS FROM THE USS PRESERVER LOCATE THE CREW CABIN OF CHALLENGER ON THE OCEAN FLOOR.

Nothing to preserve there.

1988:  ACTOR DIVINE DIES.

That had to be an interesting job for the mortician who dressed him.

1991:  BASEBALL PLAYER COOL PAPA BELL DIES.

Officially renamed "Ice Cold."

1994:  THE US SUPREME COURT RULES THAT PARODIES OF AN ORIGINAL WORK ARE GENERALLY COVERED BY THE DOCTRINE OF FAIR USE.

That's for anybody who's thinking of starting a blog called "Glenn Speaks."

1999:  DIRECTOR STANLEY KUBRICK DIES.

He didn't make it to 2001.

Dinner last night:  Cornish pasty at the home of my good friend Barbara.


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