1525: THE SWISS ANABAPTIST MOVEMENT IS FOUNDED WHEN CONRAD GREBEL, FELIX MANZ, GEORGE BLAUROCK, AND ABOUT A DOZEN OTHERS BAPTIZE EACH OTHER IN ZURICH, BREAKING A THOUSAND-YEAR TRADITION OF CHURCH-STATE UNION.
I have no idea what any of this means, but it sounds important.
1535: FOLLOWING THE AFFAIR OF THE PLACARDS, FRENCH PROTESTANTS ARE BURNED AT THE STAKE IN PARIS.
Damn. Those placards must have said something more than "Let's Go Mets."
1720: SWEDEN AND PRUSSIA SIGN THE TREATY OF STOCKHOLM.
I always like it when two countries pledge to play nice.
1738: AMERICAN PATRIOT ETHAN ALLEN IS BORN.
Just in time for the February President's Day sale.
1749: THE TEATRO FILARMONICO IN VERONA IS DESTROYED BY FIRE.
Started by two gentlemen, no doubt.
1793: AFTER BEING FOUND GUILTY OF TREASON BY THE FRENCH CONVENTION, LOUIS XVI OF FRANCE IS EXECUTED BY GUILLOTINE.
So there goes the new hat he just got for Christmas.
1840: JULES DUMONT D'URVILLE DISCOVERS ADELIE LAND, ANTARCTICA.
I hope he wasn't surprised that it's freakin' cold down there.
1861: DURING THE CIVIL WAR, JEFFERSON DAVIS RESIGNS FROM THE US SENATE.
A Jefferson that actually moved on down.
1899: OPEL MANUFACTURES ITS FIRST AUTOMOBILE.
Drive home in a new 1900 Opel.
1905: ACROBAT KARL WALLENDA IS BORN.
Died in 1978 when he fell off a wire.
1908: NEW YORK CITY PASSES THE SULLIVAN ORDINANCE, MAKING IT ILLEGAL FOR WOMEN TO SMOKE IN PUBLIC, ONLY TO HAVE THE MEASURE VETOED BY THE MAYOR.
Good thing since the Mayor's wife had just gotten a carton of Chesterfields for Christmas.
1915: KIWANIS INTERNATIONAL IS FOUNDED IN DETROIT, MICHIGAN.
And here comes a bunch of Little League teams sporting the same name.
1922: ACTOR TELLY SAVALAS IS BORN.
Who loves ya?
1924: COMIC BENNY HILL IS BORN.
Never ever found him funny.
1938: RADIO HOST WOLFMAN JACK IS BORN.
The real star of "American Graffiti."
1940: GOLFER JACK NICKLAUS IS BORN.
He's the golfer who didn't figure out how to mix iced tea with lemonade.
1948: THE FLAG OF QUEBEC IS ADOPTED AND FLOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME OVER THE NATIONAL ASSEMBLY OF QUEBEC. THE DAY IS MARKED ANNUALLY AS QUEBEC FLAG DAY.
Funny how they figured that out.
1950: AMERICAN LAWYER AND GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL ALGER HISS IS CONVICTED OF PERJURY.
Boo Hiss.
1950: AUTHOR GEORGE ORWELL DIES.
Born in 1903. He would have had to live to 81 to get to 1984.
1954: THE FIRST NUCLEAR SUBMARINE, THE USS NAUTILUS, IS LAUNCHED BY MAMIE EISENHOWER.
I'll bet you sampled a bit when you cracked that bottle of champagne.
1956: ACTOR ROBBY BENSON IS BORN.
The most monotone actor ever.
1956: ACTRESS GEENA DAVIS IS BORN.
She and Robby could share the same birthday cake. If, of course, they went to the same school.
1959: DIRECTOR CECIL B. DEMILLE DIES.
And Hollywood cheers.
1959: ACTOR CARL SWITZER DIES.
Oh, my God! Alfalfa just shot himself.
1967: ACTRESS ANN SHERIDAN DIES.
All out of oomph.
1968: IN VIETNAM, THE BATTLE OF KHE SANH.
And the Khe Sanhs keep rolling along.
1976: COMMERCIAL SERVICE OF THE CONCORDE BEGINS.
Yeah, that will be a short flight.
1977: US PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER PARDONS NEARLY ALL AMERICAN VIETNAM WAR DRAFT EVADERS, SOME OF WHOM HAD EMIGRATED TO CANADA.
Whenever this happens, you know the politicians is trying to buy votes.
1989: BASEBALL STAR CARL FURILLO DIES.
And Flatbush weeps.
1997: THE US HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES VOTES 395-28 TO REPRIMAND NEWT GINGRICH FOR ETHICS VIOLATIONS, MAKING HIM THE FIRST SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE TO BE SO DISCIPLINED.
Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi is also a big crook. Do your research.
1998: ACTOR JACK LORD DIES.
Bury him, Dan-o.
2002: SINGER PEGGY LEE DIES.
Yep, that's all there is.
Dinner last night: Leftover pot roast.
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