1100: HENRY I OF ENGLAND MARRIES MATILDA OF SCOTLAND.
Not sure why, but the name Matilda never brings to mind a ravishing beauty.
1215: THE FOURTH LATERAN COUNCIL MEETS, DEFINING THE DOCTRINE OF TRANSUBSTANTIATION, THE PROCESS BY WHICH BREAD AND WINE ARE SAID TO TRANSFORM INTO THE BODY AND BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST.
The wine is blood thing always scared me when I was a kid.
1620: THE MAYFLOWER COMPACT IS SIGNED NEAR CAPE COD.
But wait...I reserved a subcompact.
1675: GOTTFRIED LEIBNIZ DEMONSTRATES INTEGRAL CALCULUS FOR THE FIRST TIME.
God, I hated that course in high school.
1750: THE FHC SOCIETY, KNOWN AS THE FLAT HAT CLUB, IS FOUNDED IN VIRGINIA AND IS THE FIRST COLLEGE FRATERNITY.
For sophomores with flat heads.
1831: IN VIRGINIA, NAT TURNER IS HANGED AFTER INCITING A VIOLENT SLAVE UPRISING.
Or is it hung?
1864: AMERICAN CIVIL WAR - UNION GENERAL WILLIAM SHERMAN BEGINS TO BURN ATLANTA TO THE GROUND IN PREPARATION FOR HIS MARCH SOUTH.
Little did he know but it would make for a great scene in Gone With the Wind.
1885: GENERAL GEORGE S. PATTON IS BORN.
Slap!
1889: THE STATE OF WASHINGTON IS ADMITTED AS THE 42ND STATE OF THE US.
Seven more until Hawaii.
1899: ACTOR PAT O'BRIEN IS BORN.
Always the good guy in those Jimmy Cagney films.
1911: MANY CITIES IN THE MIDWEST US BREAK THEIR RECORD HIGHS AND LOWS ON THE SAME DAYS AS A STRONG COLD FRONT ROLLS THROUGH.
Thus ending the 1911 argument for global warming.
1918: ACTOR STUBBY KAYE IS BORN.
Sit down, sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat.
1921: THE TOMB OF THE UNKNOWNS IS DEDICATED BY US PRESIDENT WARREN G. HARDING IN ARLINGTON CEMETERY.
See above.
1925: ACTOR JONATHAN WINTERS IS BORN.
Pure genius.
1926: THE US HIGHWAY SYSTEM OF NUMBERS, INCLUDING ROUTE 66, IS ESTABLISHED.
Get your kicks.
1940: WORLD WAR II - THE ROYAL NAVY LAUNCHES THE FIRST AIRCRAFT CARRIER STRIKE IN HISTORY ON THE ITALIAN FLEET AT TARANTO.
Take-a that, paisan.
1940: AN UNEXPECTED BLIZZARD KILLS 144 IN THE US MIDWEST.
Thus ending the 1940 argument for global warming.
1942: WORLD WAR II - NAZI GERMANY COMPLETES ITS OCCUPATION OF FRANCE.
So that was accomplished in what? Two hours?
1960: A MILITARY COUP AGAINST PRESIDENT NGO DINH DIEM OF SOUTH VIETNAM IS CRUSHED.
Pronounce that name please.
1964: ACTRESS CALISTA FLOCKHART IS BORN.
Ally McBeal, meet Indiana Jones.
1966: NASA LAUNCHES GEMINI 12.
I didn't realize there were that many Gemini missions.
1969: FASHION DESIGNER CARSON KRESSLEY IS BORN.
Sat next to him on a flight to NY. Major body odor.
1974: ACTOR LEONARDO DICAPRIO IS BORN.
God, he got old in a hurry.
1979: COMPOSER DIMITRI TIOMKIN DIES.
What a great movie soundtrack album he has.
1981: ANTIGUA AND BARBUDA JOIN THE UNITED NATIONS.
Okay, they'll let anybody in these days.
1984: PASTOR MARTIN LUTHER KING SR. DIES.
Outliving his son by 16 years!
1992: THE GENERAL SYNOD OF THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND VOTES TO ALLOW WOMEN TO BECOME PRIESTS.
Why not?
1993: A SCULPTURE HONORING WOMEN WHO SERVED IN THE VIETNAM WAR IS DEDICATED IN WASHINGTON, DC.
Again...why not?
2004: NEW ZEALAND TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN WARRIOR IS DEDICATED.
So I guess they had them even over there.
2004: THE PALESTINE LIBERATION ORGANIZATION CONFIRMS THE DEATH OF YASSER ARAFAT FROM UNIDENTIFIED CAUSES.
Well, that's a strange thing to put on the death certificate.
2008: BASEBALL PITCHER HERB SCORE DIES.
The perfect name for a baseball player.
2013: ACTRESS SHIRLEY MITCHELL DIES.
Marian Strong from I Love Lucy!
2014: ACTRESS CAROL ANN SUSI DIES.
Howard's mother on the Big Bang Theory.
Dinner last night: Leftover ravioli.
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