We're heading into the big holiday picture season and there will be some delicious cranberries and some turkeys. Some real gifts and coal in our stockings. You know the drill, kiddies. I'll sift through the LA Times movie pages and give you my snap junction reaction to the stuff that Hollywood is dumping on a totally unsuspecting public.
Oh, and Goldfinger is available on DVD and Blu-Ray. No line in your own living room.
SPECTRE: Blog review coming. James Bond is back. But, then again, he hasn't gone anyway since 1962.
The Hunger Games - Mockingjay - Part 2: The title alone is exhausting. I'll catch up on Netflix. Oh, who am I kidding?
Carol: One of those Douglas Sirk-like 50s soaps with Cate Blanchett as a woman who falls for a shopgirl. Except for the lesbian part, wasn't that book by Steve Martin?
James White: A young New Yorker deals with his mom's serious illness. Cynthia Nixon is the mom and I remember her when she was a teenager on Broadway.
The Night Before: Seth Rogen as...okay, I'll stop there.
Secret in Their Eyes: The trailer about a murder case looked good and it's got Nicole Kidman and Julia Roberts. But how often does the script live up to the name cast?
Steve Jobs: I hear good things from people who hate writer Aaron Sorkin and co-star Seth Rogen. That would be me. Might be one of those clothespin movies.
The 33: Dramatic retelling of that Chilean mining disaster. Spoiler alert: the ending is on the internet.
Truth: I hear this tale about how Dan Rather got fired by CBS is anything but the title.
Trumbo: One of those Oscar buzzers about the blacklisted screenwriter Dalton Trumbo.
Suffragette: Women's fight to vote. This did happen, right?
Love the Coopers: One of those dreary dysfunctional family Christmas movies. Everybody thinks that "if they only filmed my family during the holidays." Well, they keep doing it and the results ain't funny.
Spotlight: Another Oscar buzzer. The journalistic investigation into sexual abuse by Boston Catholic clergy. All The President's Men? All The Priests' Boys.
Bridge of Spies: This highly touted real-life spy drama from Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg is almost gone from theaters already. Not a good sign.
Brooklyn: Coming of age back in the day when Brooklyn was a big deal. Good news...it is again.
The Peanuts Movie: Oh, good grief, Charlie Brown.
By The Sea: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as a tormented married couple. Go ahead. Stretch your imagination.
Shelter: Jennifer Connelly and Anthony Mackie are homeless in New York. Trust me. I never see people living in refrigerator boxes who are that good looking.
Miss You Already: Funny. I don't.
I Remember You: Funny. I don't.
#Horror: It was a matter of time before hashtags wound up in movie titles.
Criminal Activities: Insider trading with John Travolta. Um, take your shares in Scientology and dump them.
Entertainment: A beleaguered comic travels the desert doing isolated gigs.
Did you hear the one about the beleaguered comic who...
Drone: A documentary about...well, guess.
Altered Minds: Judd Hirsch as a shrink who conducts experiments on his adopted children. Taxi!
Legend: Tom Hardy plays the notorious Kray brothers who dominated the British underworld in the 60s. Not your grandmother's Patty Duke Show.
Room: Brie Larson as a young woman imprisoned in a shed for years. I swear I didn't know she was in there.
Burnt: Bradley Cooper as a celebrity chef with z mixed-up life. And you thought you had problems, Bobby Flay?
The Funhouse Massacre: What? No hashtag???
Heist: Robert DeNiro in a movie about crooks who hijack a city bus. Paging Keanu Reeves.
Joe's War: A young Marine home from Iraq suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. Surprised?
My All American: An undersized football player play for the fable University of Texas coach Darrell Royal. Paging Rudy...
Dinner last night: Sausage pizza.
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