Friday, June 17, 2016

Your Weekend Movie Guide for June 2016

Next Thursday, the Motion Picture Academy will be showing a newly restored and souped-up version of the legendary film "Giant."  I will be there.   It won't be the first time I've seen this classic on a big screen.   But, whenever it does get pulled out for new generations to enjoy, I can never resist.   It's a three-hour epic that just doesn't get made anymore.

But that's next Thursday.   Now we face a weekend of new horrors perpetrated by Hollywood.   Will there be anything for me to see before I get to enjoy the exploits of Bick Benedict and Jett Rink one more time?   You know the drill by now, gang.  I will sift through the movie pages of the LA Times and give you my gut reaction to the junk being left on our cineplexes' front door steps.   I can only imagine.   

In the meantime, I am waiting for another round of "Giant."   Gee, it's fun to live here.

The Lobster:   It sounds weird.   Don't bother with the butter.

Maggie's Plan:   Blog review coming.   Plan to skip it.   The movie, not the review.

De Palma:  Blog review coming.   A compelling documentary on film.

The Conjuring 2:   Just when I pledged not to see The Conjuring 1.

Captain America - Civil War:  Maybe you should actually read a comic book instead.

Me Before You:   Is it something like "i" before "e" except after "c."

Finding Dory:  Back in the water with Pixar and Ellen DeGeneres.

Central Intelligence:  How can a movie starring Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson have the word "intelligence" in the title?

Tickled:  A documentary about young men who are tied up and tickled.   Sort of like meeting that annoying uncle who used to do the same thing to you.

Teenage Mutant Turtles - Out of the Shadows:   Proud to say that I know no one who would see this.

Now You See Me 2:   I saw the first one.   Now I don't see the next one.

Alice Through the Looking Glass:   LSD optional.

Love and Friendship:    Oil and water.

A Bigger Splash:  Melissa McCarthy diving into a pool?

Clown:   The costume a dad wears for a kid's birthday party turns sinister.   And probably shrinks after the first washing.

The Witness:  A documentary on the 1964 Queens murder of Kitty Genovese.   I'll see the movie.   But I didn't see anything that happened.

Raiders!  The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made:  A documentary about three 11-year-olds who do a shot-by-shot recreation of "Raiders of the Lost Ark."   This sounds oddly interesting.

The Angry Birds Movie:   Are these the same birds who shit on your windshield after you just had your car washed?

Careful What You Wish:  Like this movie?

Blackway:  Anthony Hopkins as a retired logger.  Seriously?   That's the logline that got this sold?

Genius:   All about the publisher who worked with writer Thomas Wolfe. Nudge me when it's over.

Keanu:  It's got nothing to do with the actor but the title alone is enough to keep me away.

The Meddler:  Still around for you to avoid like a dirty toilet seat.

Neighbors 2 - Sorority:  Oh, hell, no.

Money Monster:  Reviewed here recently and there are worse movies you could see.

The Nice Guys:  Blog review coming.   Hint: it was disappointing.

X Men - Apocalypse:   Hollywood destroys the world...again.

Popstar - Never Stop Never Stopping:   Strictly for Andy Samberg fans.   You two know who you are.

Puerto Ricans in Paris:   Mon dieu!

Warcraft:  The trailer was nothing but CGI.   Control.  Alt.  Delete.

Weiner:   Just reviewed here and yes, he is.   A weiner, that is.

Dinner last night:  Chopped kale and Brussels sprouts.

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