217 BC: PTOLEMY IV PHILOPATOR OF EGYPT DEFEATS ANTIOCHUS III THE GREAT OF THE SELEUCID KINGDOM.
Seleucid? I think that has some nasty side effects.
1633: THE HOLY OFFICE IN ROME FORCES GALILEO GALILEI TO RECANT HIS VIEW THAT THE SUN, NOT THE EARTH, IS CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE.
Sun 1, Earth 0.
1783: A POISONOUS CLOUD CAUSED BY THE ERUPTION OF THE LAKI VOLCANO IN ICELAND REACHES LE HAVRE IN FRANCE.
As if the French would even recognize a nasty odor.
1807: IN THE CHESAPEAKE-LEOPOLD AFFAIR, THE BRITISH WARSHIP HMS LEOPARD ATTACKS AND BOARDS THE AMERICAN FRIGATE USS CHESAPEAKE.
Leopard 1, Chesapeake 0.
1844: THE FRATERNITY DELTA KAPPA EPSILON IS FOUNDED AT YALE UNIVERSITY.
And then thereby inventing alcoholism amongst college students.
1898: DURING THE SPANISH-AMERICAN WAR, THE U.S. MARINES LAND IN CUBA.
Cigars all around.
1903: GANGSTER JOHN DILLINGER IS BORN.
He should have watched the movie on Netflix.
1906: DIRECTOR BILLY WILDER IS BORN.
A film legacy that is unequaled.
1906: THE FLAG OF SWEDEN IS ADOPTED.
After several years being a foster flag.
1919: DANCER GOWER CHAMPION IS BORN.
A good thing since, otherwise, Marge would have had to do a solo.
1918: THE HAMMOND CIRCUS TRAIN WRECK KILLS 86 AND INJURES 127 NEAR HAMMOND, INDIANA.
An idea plagarized years later by Cecil B. DeMille in "The Greatest Show on Earth."
1921: BROADWAY PRODUCER JOSEPH PAPP IS BORN.
Also famous for his smear.
1941: GERMANY INVADES RUSSIA.
Oh, sure, those goose steps are impressive now, but just you wait...
1944: PRESIDENT FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT SIGNS INTO LAW THE GI BILL.
The smartest thing he ever did. Oh, yeah, that and cheating on the wife.
1945: DURING WORLD WAR II, THE BATTLE OF OKINAWA ENDS JAPANESE ARMY FORCES COLLAPSE.
Years later, they still couldn't get a break when Ghidra the Three-Headed Monster came to town.
1949: ACTRESS MERYL STREEP IS BORN.
She made two movies last week. Oh, wait, make that four movies last week.
1953: SINGER CYNDI LAUPER IS BORN.
Girls just want to have fun.
1969: SINGER JUDY GARLAND DIES.
Over the rainbow and she expires while on the toilet bowl. PS, her crypt is right around the corner from my mother at Ferncliff Cemetery.
1976: THE CANADIAN HOUSE OF COMMONS ABOLISHES CAPITAL PUNISHMENT.
At least, their criminals can travel to the United States if they want to be executed.
1987: ACTOR-DANCER FRED ASTAIRE DIES.
Never gonna dance...
1988: SINGER DENNIS DAY DIES.
Not his day at all.
1990: CHECKPOINT CHARLIE IS DISMANTLED IN BERLIN.
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that Checkpoint.
1993: FORMER FIRST LADY PAT NIXON DIES.
Mrs. "I am not a crook" to you.
2002: BASEBALL PITCHER DARRYL KILE DIES.
Met physicians just put him on the 60-day disabled list.
2002: COLUMNIST ANN LANDERS DIED.
Dear Abby,...er, never mind.
2006: DOG ACTOR MOOSE DIES.
The mutt from "Frasier." Who gets his rerun residuals?
2008: COMEDIAN GEORGE CARLIN DIES.
A bad forecast for that hippy dippy weatherman.
2009: EASTMAN KODAK ANNOUNCES THAT IT WILL DISCONTINUE SALES OF KODACHROME COLOR FILM.
Well, there goes Paul Simon's career.
2013: TV PRODUCER GARY DAVID GOLDBERG DIES.
2014: SINGER STEVE ROSSI DIES.
Dinner last night: Hawaiian Dodger Dog.