Er, still waiting on the latter.
"Maggie's Plan" is another in a long line of well-reviewed films that I just don't get. These independent films that reviewers fawn over but are...well...not worthy of fawning from yours truly.
This one stars Greta Gerwig, an actress who has made a career out of playing self-involved characters who talk, talk, and talk about their lives. I've seen her before and the act wears thin. A little of Greta goes a long, long, long way. In this one, she's a New York City college professor whose biological clock is about to sound an alarm. She makes a deal to be impregnated by a pickle manufacturer...insert your own favorite gherkin joke here. But, in the process, she also hooks up with another married college professor and his sperm might just be more advantageous.
Naturally, she steals the guy away from his family and his wife, yet another college professor, played by Julianne Moore with this phony Eurotrash accent that makes her sound like that guy in that old SNL skit "Sprockets." But, remorse sets in about breaking up his marriage so Maggie/Greta sets out to plan their reconciliation. Hence the title. And hence the disturbing lack of the romantic shenanigans I was promised.
Because of the New York setting, this Rebecca Miller-directed piece has Woody Allen-like allusions. But, the difference is that Woody could make this all amusing. Not here, folks. Every character is smug and detestable and so filled with big words that the theater snack bar should include a complimentary dictionary with your Coke and Raisinets.
Meanwhile, the three leads (Gerwig, Moore, and an equally annoying Ethan Hawke) are so unlikeable that you want to immediately erase them from your memory. There is a supporting couple played by Bill Hader and Maya Rudolph who are infinitely more interesting and you wish the whole movie had been devoted to them.
One more time. The critics lie.
LEN'S RATING: One-and-a-half stars.
Dinner last night: BLT sandwich at Dupar's.
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