1214: DURING THE BATTLE OF BOUVINES, PHILIP II OF FRANCES DEFEATS JOHN OF ENGLAND.
The winner went up against Bruno Sammartino of Italy.
1549: THE JESUIT PRIEST FRANCIS XAVIER'S SHIP REACHES JAPAN.
It doesn't specifically say that Francis Xavier got there at the same time. Or at all.
1663; DURING THE GLORIOUS REVOLUTION, THE BATTLE OF KILLIECRANKIE ENDS.
Included only because the word "Killiecrankie" makes me smile.
1694: A ROYAL CHARTER IS GRANTED TO THE BANK OF ENGLAND.
Killiecrankie. Yep, still smiling.
1794: DURING THE FRENCH REVOLUTION, MAXIMILIEN ROBESPIERRE IS ARRESTED AFTER ENCOURAGING THE EXECUTION OF MORE THAN 17,000 ENEMIES OF THE REVOLUTION.
17,000? Talk about overkill.
1866: THE ATLANTIC CABLE IS SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED, ALLOWING TRANSATLANTIC TELEGRAPH COMMUNICATION FOR THE FIRST TIME.
Okay, one last smile. Killiecrankie. :)
1905: BASEBALL MANAGER LEO DUROCHER IS BORN.
Sixty-four years later, he had a really shitty summer.
1919: THE CHICAGO RACE RIOTS ERUPTS, LEADING TO 38 FATALITIES AND 537 INJURIES OVER A FIVE-DAY PERIOD.
How's that community organizing look now?
1922: TV PRODUCER NORMAN LEAR IS BORN.
And I still miss "All in the Family" to this day. Boy, wouldn't you like to hear what Archie Bunker has to say about politics in 2016?
1931: ACTOR JERRY VAN DYKE IS BORN.
Solely around to keep his more talented brother company.
1940: THE ANIMATED SHORT "A WILD HARE" IS RELEASED, INTRODUCING THE CHARACTER OF BUGS BUNNY.
This should be a national holiday.
1942: DURING WORLD WAR II, ALLIED FORCES SUCCESSFULLY HALT THE FINAL AXIS ADVANCE INTO EGYPT.
Why was anybody going to that shithole in the first place?
1949: ACTOR MAURY CHAYKIN IS BORN.
Don't know who he is? No worries. The joke pays off a little later.
1949: INITIAL FLIGHT OF THE DE HAVILLAND COMET, THE FIRST JET-POWERED AIRLINER.
Olivia had her own airline?
1974: THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES JUDICIARY COMMITTEE VOTES 27 TO 11 TO RECOMMEND THE FIRST ARTICLE OF IMPEACHMENT AGAINST PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON.
Start counting the days, Dick.
1981: SIX-YEAR-OLD ADAM WALSH, SON OF JOHN WALSH, IS KIDNAPPED IN HOLLYWOOD, FLORIDA AND IS FOUND MURDERED TWO WEEKS LATER.
And, as a result, the kid's father wound up with a long run as a TV show host.
1981: DIRECTOR WILLIAM WYLER DIES.
Not the best day or the best year of his life.
1984: ACTOR JAMES MASON DIES.
A star is born and then ultimately dies.
1988: INVENTOR FRANK ZAMBONI DIES.
Now he's really on ice.
1996: IN ATLANTA, A PIPE BOMB EXPLODES DURING THE 1996 SUMMER OLYMPICS.
And that was the only interesting thing to happen at those games.
2003: COMEDIAN BOB HOPE DIES.
My writing partner contends that he really died several months earlier but they kept up this scam so the press could celebrate his 100th birthday in May. I don't deal with a lot of normal people.
2010: ACTOR MAURY CHAYKIN DIES.
Now that's what I call feng shui.
2012: THE OPENING CEREMONY FOR THE SUMMER OLYMPICS IN LONDON TAKES PLACE.
Didn't this just happen?
2012: SINGER TONY MARTIN DIES.
Mr. Cyd Charisse.
Dinner last night: Super Dodger Dog.
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