70: A ROMAN ARMY UNDER TITUS OCCUPIES AND PLUNDERS JERUSALEM.
Obviously, Titus should have been called "Tight Ass."
1228: HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR FREDERICK II LANDED IN ACRE, PALESTINE AND STARTED THE SIXTH CRUSADE, WHICH RESULTED IN A PEACEFUL RESTITUTION OF THE KINGDOM OF JERUSALEM.
So, the damage inflicted by Titus/Tight Ass was not permanent.
1652: AROUND 15,000 HAN FARMERS AND MILITIA REBEL AGAINST DUTCH RULE ON TAIWAN.
Hmmm. No Marge Simpson explanation here.
1776: IN THE WORLD'S FIRST SUBMARINE ATTACK, THE AMERICAN "TURTLE" ATTEMPTS TO ATTACH A TIME BOMB TO THE HULL OF THE HMS "EAGLE" IN NEW YORK HARBOR.
Submarines in 1776? Are you telling me that George Washington didn't necessarily have to make that crossing in a row boat?
1822: DOM PEDRO I DECLARES BRAZIL INDEPENDENT FROM PORTUGAL ON THE SHORES OF THE IPIRANGA CREEK IN SAO PAOLO.
And....no Marge explanation here.
1860: STEAMSHIP LADY ELGIN SINKS ON LAKE MICHIGAN, WITH THE LOSS OF AROUND 400 LIVES.
Around 400? Okay, what does that mean? 399? 401? History needs to be specific.
1860: PAINTER GRANDMA MOSES IS BORN.
And doesn't die until 1961!
1876: IN NORTHFIELD, MINNESOTA, JESSE JAMES AND THE JAMES-YOUNGER GANG ATTEMPT TO ROB THE TOWN'S BANK BUT ARE DRIVEN OFF BY ARMED CITIZENS.
Armed citizens? I guess that it was a good idea back then.
1901: THE BOXER REBELLION IN CHINA OFFICIALLY ENDS WITH THE SIGNING OF THE BOXER PROTOCOL.
What the hell is boxer protocol? No hitting below the belt.
1907: RMS LUSITANIA SETS SAIL ON HER MAIDEN VOYAGE FROM LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND TO NEW YORK CITY.
I'm just guessing, but I'm not thinking there's a long shelf life for this tub.
1909: DIRECTOR ELIA KAZAN IS BORN.
He didn't die until 2003, so Grandma Moses is still the bigger winner in today's blog.
1911: FRENCH POET GUILLAUME APOLLINAIRE IS ARRESTED AND PUT IN JAIL ON SUSPICION OF STEALING THE MONA LISA FROM THE LOUVRE.
It's not like you can hide it under your coat.
1921: IN ATLANTIC CITY, NEW JERSEY, THE FIRST MISS AMERICA PAGEANT IS HELD.
Grandma Moses is already 61 years old, so she was not eligible.
1923: ACTOR PETER LAWFORD IS BORN.
He didn't make it past the age 0f 61, which means Grandma Moses didn't drink or snort coke.
1926: VOICEOVER ACTOR DON MESSICK IS BORN.
Cartoon voice actor. He was Droopy!!!!!!! Also, Boo Boo Bear, Astro, and Muttley.
1936: MUSICIAN BUDDY HOLLY IS BORN.
And that'll be the day that he was born.
1940: THE WORLD WAR II BLITZ BEGINS AS NAZI GERMANY BEGINS TO RAIN BOMBS OVER LONDON.
I have a good friend who lived through this. And you thought the upstairs neighbors were noisy?
1945: JAPANESE FORCES ON WAKE ISLAND SURRENDER TO U.S. MARINES.
The Sayonara tour begins.
1950: ACTRESS JULIE KAVNER IS BORN.
Here's your Marge Simpson explanation. Huzzah.
1953: NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV IS ELECTED FIRST SECRETARY OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY OF THE SOVIET UNION.
Well, we know he didn't get the job because of his good looks.
1963: THE PRO FOOTBALL HALL OF FAME OPENS IN CANTON, OHIO.
Why do they always put these sports halls of fame in places that are so hard to get to?
1970: BILL SHOEMAKER BECOMES THE WINNINGEST HORSE RACING JOCKEY OF ALL TIME.
Big deal. He's still short.
1971: ACTRESS SPRING BYINGTON DIES.
From December Bride to September Corpse.
1978: ROCK MUSICIAN KEITH MOON OF THE WHO DIES.
How? Where? When? Why?
1979: ESPN MAKES ITS DEBUT.
And sports broadcasting begins its slow and painful descent to earth.
1982: BASEBALL PLAYER KEN BOYER DIES.
Brother of Clete. Son of Charles.
1986: DESMOND TUTU BECOMES THE FIRST BLACK MAN TO LEAD THE ANGLICAN CHURCH IN SOUTH AFRICA.
If Shania Twain married him, she'd be Shania Twain Tutu.
1996: HIP HOP STAR TUPAC SHAKUR IS SHOT AND KILLED IN LAS VEGAS.
Tupac spelling backwards is Kaput.
2003: ROCK MUSICIAN WARREN ZEVON DIES.
Werewolves of London? There, wolves of London.
2005: THE FIRST PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IS HELD IN EGYPT.
Yeah, that worked out long term.
2008: THE US GOVERNMENT TAKES CONTROL OF THE TWO LARGEST MORTGAGE FINANCING COMPANIES IN AMERICA, FANNIE MAE AND FREDDIE MAC.
Ooops, there goes the economy. Good news, though. Jed Clampett still maintained control of Elly Mae.
2015: ACTOR DICKIE MOORE DIES.
One of the last Little Rascals.
Dinner last night: Cold salad plate.
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