I Still Remember You

A few weeks ago, I was lunching with two female friends from work. Somehow, we got to the subject of having crushes on TV stars. My one friend immediately piped up and announced that Ricky Schroeder was so hot. My other friend, who is gay, said that she was always soft on Kristy McNichol. (So, her gaydar was working with pinpoint accuracy of a GPS system apparently).

It was my turn. And the answer was so easy.

Valerie Bertinelli!

And since that lunch, it has dawned on me. In the ten years I have lived in Los Angeles, I haven't seen her yet. From the list of celebrities I have come in contact with, whether it be at work or at church (Harvey Korman) or at the orange counter at Ralph's (Bob Newhart), how could I have missed Val?

And it was a good time for us to connect to boot. Marriage over. Ex-husband in and out of rehab. Where, oh, where was she?

I didn't see her working much. She did that Touch Your Angel thing for a while. I'm pretty sure she did a celebrity version of Millionaire. But, other than that, she certainly wasn't out and about town. At least, not in the places I go to. Which pretty much means she hasn't been to the Hollywood Bowl, Dodger Stadium, or the Arclight Cinemas. The closest I ever got in person was many years ago when I went to a taping of One Day at a Time. Val, I couldn't hang out afterward. I was, ahem, with other people. But, I did in my mind imagine myself as a staff writer on the show. Valerie and I bonded over script changes for the second act.

So, imagine my surprise this morning. She is on the cover of People. Valerie is going to be the new Jenny Craig girl, thereby knocking Kirstie Alley back to the donut counter of Winchell's.

Now, she's looking okay to me on the cover. But, if you feel the need to feel better about yourself, Val, you have yourself a time.

Unfortunately, the attached article mentioned a boyfriend of three years. This is what I get for spending all my time with Vin Scully.

Maybe we could still be friends. I eat yogurt. We could do lunch.

No, wait, let me think. Jenny Craig, heh? Is that one of those places where you actually have to report and get weighed. I could stand to lose fifteen.

I wonder if the FBI starts files on people by reading their blogs.

Never mind.

Dinner last night: orzo with grilled vegetables.