This Week's Product Endorsement

It's allergy season on both coasts. I am sure NY is now starting to hear about pollen counts courtesy of Long Island Jewish Hospital (How did they get to be the official arbitrator for pollen??)

As for me, I have had sinus issues for as long as I can remember. My mother used to let teethe on Dristan tablets. She suffered as well. I remember once she took one of those Allerest pills with a can of Coke. Not an effective mix. She might as well have been Judy Garland downing a bottle of Blue Nun.

When I lived in NY, sinus infections used to birddog me about three or four times a year. You'd be cooped up in the winter breathing in all that radiator heat...or in an office with a bunch of people who never covered their mouths.....ever. Plus I was probably allergic to a bunch of junk in the air---which, in NY, is redundant.

So, moving to LA with that famous brown layer of ozone which descends frequently on the San Fernando Valley, you would think that my sinuses would work about as well as a leper in a touch therapy group. Not so. Early on, I discovered that what I was allergic to in NY is not necessarily the same here. They apparently manufacture a completely different brand of pollen here, probably in some factory up in Oxnard. And sinus infections became much less frequent.

But, that is not to say that clogged sinuses and the subsequent headaches disappeared completely. Of course, 90 plus cross-continental airplane trips over the past nine years have rendered my sinus cavities as confused. "Hey, right side, where the hell are we now?"

My ENT here has been quite good and I wound up on a virtually steady diet of Allegra, Zyrtec, Flonase, and Rhinocort or some combination thereof.

The ultimate by-product of over-medicating my sinuses? Well, about a year and a half ago, I wound up with a condition called dysosmia. From time to time, I experience major lapses in my ability to taste and smell correctly. Somebody told me that this must sucque. It does. The same person asked whether I can discern if food is bad in a restaurant. I tell them this is not an issue: I don't go to those restaurants.

My ENT had me go to a specialist to confirm diagnosis. The cause: over-drying of sinus cavities. The prognosis: it may go away or it may not. The treatment: I cannot take any form of medicated sinus medicine or sprays. I spent two days tossing medicine bottles out of my bathroom. It was like I just got out of Betty Ford.

How do I deal with sinus issues now? Well, I am a saline junkie. I am allowed to shoot anything up my nose that is simply salt water. It's a great healer----you know how better you feel when you are breathing ocean air.

And I essentially rinse my sinuses once a day with this terrific mixture:

I do it every morning. You mix one packet (essentially salt) in this bottle of warm water. Then you hang over the sink and essentially pop it up each nostril. The water goes up one nostril and comes out the other. And you should see what drains out. I saw junk I inhaled in 1994. It's sort of like when Richard Dreyfuss cuts open the shark in "Jaws." Everything but a Florida license plate. Now, you probably could mix this stuff yourself, but I like the fact that the packets are pre-mixed for you. Keep in mind that if the water isn't running out the other nostril, you are either not doing it right.....or you have, at some point, ingested a basketball.

I've used this rinse for over a year now. No sinus infections. If I do get a sinus headache that is unmanageable, I am allowed half of one Allegra pill. But, that happens rarely.

And, if you are also one who wakes up all clogged, you are breathing dust while you sleep. So, I suggest you get one of these:

They are a little pricey, but worth the investment. When you clean out the filter once a month, you will be so astounded how much dust it has absorbed. You will want to immediately bitch-slap your housekeeper.

Gee, I hope Al Sharpton doesn't read this.

Dinner last night: a friend's birthday dinner at Bistro Garden-Coldwater. I had a huge pork chop, but really loved the retro shrimp cocktail I had as an appetizer.