Because We All Need a Little Diversion....

let's talk about what's been on television the past few days. And I don't mean the news. Spoilers are found below. That's your warning in case you have TiVoed any of these.

AMERICAN IDOL:

Okay, America, the Sanjaya joke has to be over. What the hell was that on his head last night? My grandmother used to wear something like that when she beat the rugs in the yard. Or maybe he's the guy that squeegies your windshield at the entrance to the freeway. Vocally, it was a toilet in a dive bar at 3AM. There were dogs barking all over my neighborhood. Let's face it, if Sanjaya were on 24, he would have been written out weeks ago. Actually, the outfit he was wearing looked like something from another FOX show---Prison Break. No, really, he could easily fit on that show. You know, the weasly little convict who is befriended and "protected" by the big hulking wife beater. FOX, if you want to keep this chucklehead around...

Simon regrouped pretty quickly with those heartfelt words about Virginia Tech. I guess the producers (and everyone else in America) noticed him rolling his eyes when Chris Richardson mentioned VT after his rather poor performance. I'm pretty sure Simon was reacting more to the fact that Chris said he is actually trying to sound nasal every week. Oh, I get it now. You want to sound like you have a deviated septum. Actually, he has gotten worse each week. Last night, he sounded like Ernestine the phone operator.

Patricia Wettig scored the nice "on-camera every time they showed the judges" seat this week.

Phil Stacey actually was quite good this week. He's probably most suited to that country music genre. And that bald serial killer look of his would go virtually unnoticed in the middle of the country.

Something is telling me this might be Lakisha's week for American Tourister. I am convinced Americans are keeping Sanjaya around simply to give them all plenty of fresh costume ideas for next Halloween.

24:

Doesn't that Cheng guy talk and look like the evil Chinese puppet from Team America?

Okay, Jack, so you are jeopardizing the safety of the entire country so you can get your girlfriend back. Why don't you just go the Match.com route like everybody else?

President Palmer blabbering through a press conference and sounding incoherent? Insert Bush joke here.

Ricky Schroder chained to a link fence? He's probably wondering.....where is Erin Gray now that I need her?

Apparently, President and Martha Logan have falled into the same unexplained plothole that befell the Russians in the "Pine Barrens" episode of The Sopranos. And, speaking of which.....

THE SOPRANOS:

The first two episodes have been just okay. Does Sydney Pollack now do guest shots on every single TV show? And Bogdanovich shows up as well. Where did they film Sunday's episode? At a DGA meeting?

They're obviously setting up for the ending. But, just what is it? Everybody keeps talking about who will get whacked at the end. I really wish people would realize that this is a show about family and relationships first...and gangstering second. I have said this from the beginning. The ending will tie into their last name. Soprano. Singing. Witness protection. If I am right, this blog will get unbearable.

I really miss it when there is no scene between Tony and Melfi. I find that dynamic riveting and they have not used Lorraine Bracco enough the past two years.

It took me about fifteen minutes to get back into it during the premiere episode. The wait between seasons is too darn long. Was this the first episode to be produced during the Bush administration?

If you think the fit will hit the shan when Carmella finds out Adrianna was bumped off, wait till she finds out that she wound up on the Joey sitcom for two years.

TWO AND A HALF MEN:

I've been catching up to this show via TiVo. And is it me or has this show become one flatulence or sex joke after another? If I am the parent of that kid who plays Jake, I am worrying about the education this kid is getting on the set. If I'm Martin Sheen, I am worrying the education my son is getting this kid.

Dinner last night: honey baked ham with broccoli salad.