"If Branch Rickey Were Alive Today...

...he'd be spinning in his grave."

One of the many malaprops uttered by legendary Met broadcaster Ralph Kiner. He is probably second only to Yogi Berra in bizarro statements. You can add to this his innate inability to pronounce the word "Mitsubishi."

One of the misfortunes I will have by attending today's Dodger-Met game at Shea (other than that two-headed monster of bicoastal fandom will attack my insides one more time) will be missing the Fox TV telecast of the contest. Because they will be reuniting for a short time in front of the mike for perhaps one last time the play-by-play/color combo of Ralph Kiner and Tim McCarver. I will have resort to taping this monent.

Okay, growing up as a Met fan, I never thought the original trio of Ralph Kiner, Lindsey Nelson, and Bob "Happy Recap" Murphy could be topped. And, indeed, after Nelson's departure in 1979 and Murphy's subsequent exile to radio, it wasn't. Ralphie was alone on TV for a few years with a couple of nimcompoops until some genius in the Met organization pulled in Tim McCarver in 1983. When the two former baseball stars got together on air, it was pure serendipity. The younger McCarver was virtual broadcast Viagra for Kiner. The two melded as one. It was as if Tracy and Hepburn had hooked up at your local sports bar. For the first time in my life, I actually preferring watching games on TV as opposed to attending them in person. They were smart. They were funny. And, despite their age difference, they respected each other.

Their first years together coincided with the 80s rebirth of the Mets and that certainly helped. But, even when the team fell apart, these two pros had something to say. It was an education that should be offered as a college course for three credits.

My mother was one such graduate. She never had been a baseball fan. I vaguely remember her being in the living room on Wednesday, September 24, 1969, and wondering what all the fuss was on TV. The child had to explain to the parent that the Mets had just clinched the division for the first time and were headed to the lofty playoffs. She probably responded with a simple and monotone "Oh."

But, sometime in the 80s, she became a baseball fan. She started watching games broadcast by Kiner and McCarver and was suddenly totally conversant in the sport. When a son can talk baseball with both his father and his mother, it is an event for the ages. Her heart broke when Dwight Gooden got nailed for drugs. She lived and breathed the Mets and knew them inside and out. She credited Ralph Kiner and Tim McCarver as the sole reasons for her new appreciation. It was a special part of the later years of her life. I once wrote Tim and told him this and he sent back a response that showed how touched he was.

Even though it will only be for an inning or two today, I am betting she will tune in wherever she is.

Thanks, Tim. Thanks, Ralph. And you'll be happy to know that I do own a Snitumishi TV. Or was that Bitsunishi?

Whatever.

Dinner last night: roasted chicken and mushrooms at Carlo's.