For my friends from the Bronx, here's a bus on Fordham Road sometime in 1956. It just went past the RKO Fordham Theater, which is clearly in the background. Now, I know that you are not going to pass by a movie theater this weekend. And, with that in mind, here's my monthly service for you. I'll flip through the LA Times Calendar section and give you my gut reactions on films that are out there, so you can be sure not to make that major moviegoing mistake.
Elizabeth: The Golden Age: Cate Blanchett as the legendary Queen of England. I could feel my eyelids dropping during the trailer.
Lars and the Real Girl: Ryan Gosling plays some moron who has a romantic relationship with a dummy. Could be retitled "The Laura Bush Story."
Lust Caution: Director Ang Lee's latest work about Japanese-occupied China in WW II. It's 2 hours and 40 minutes long and rated NC-17 because there's lot of sex in it. I'll wait for "Charlie Chan Gets a Hickey."
Into The Wild: I'll save you ten bucks right from the getgo. I saw this last week and hated it. It's a true story about some nut who ditches his family to live in the Alaskan woods. Great reviews by a bunch of critics who must be easily entertained by ant farms. The direction by Sean Penn is incredibly self-indulgent. I think anybody who does this wilderness survival bit gets what they deserve, especially if they view wild animals as their friends. Like that guy who was depicted in the documentary "Grizzly Man." He treated all those vicious bears like he was in Frontierland at Disney. And he wound up getting chewed up like a Slim Jim you would buy at the local 7 Eleven.
The Kingdom: A dramatic enactment of terrorism in Saudi Arabia. Not exactly your fun escapist fare. I know some people who walked out of the movie because it was a relentless assault on your senses. I hear the camera shakes so much you're convinced the cinematographer has Parkinson's.
The Final Season: One more of those "feel good" movies about some high school baseball team that wins against unbelievable odds. Obviously, the consultant for the film is not associated with the Mets.
Sleuth: How freakin' clever. A remake that now has Michael Caine in the older role as opposed to the younger role he had in the first version. Next, we'll be seeing Macauley Culkin and Soleil Moon Frye starring in a remake of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"
Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married: Not to be confused with Kevin Federline's Why Did I Get Married.
The Game Plan: A Disney family comedy starring The Rock. That sound you're hearing from Forest Lawn is Fred MacMurray turning in his grave.
Michael Clayton: I am hearing great things and reading fabulous reviews. I hope it's not from the same critics who saw "Into The Wild."
Good Luck Chuck: Good Luck, anybody who finds Dane Cook funny.
The Heartbreak Kid: Needless remake. Netflix the original. Ben Stiller will no longer be appearing in the role of King Midas.
We Own the Night: One more look at the NY club and drug scene of the late 80s. Not to be confused with the NY club and drug scene of the late 70s. Not to be confused with the NY club and drug scene of the late 90s.
For The Bible Tells Me So: This documentary sounds interesting. It follows five Christian families in which one of the family members is gay. Hopefully, they will explain why Judas Iscariot got so pissed.
The Darjeeling Limited: Three idiots wandering around India. From the looks of the trailer, it looks like they outsourced the script. No wonder Owen Wilson was depressed.
The Jane Austen Book Club: Try to find a guy anywhere in the audience. A straight guy, that is.
Across the Universe: This love story set to Beatle music is apparently attracting teenage girls by the carload. And you thought they were just "one hit wonders."
Feel The Noise, Dream Out Loud: The ad features four very scary words. "From Producer Jennifer Lopez."
The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford: At a length of almost three hours, it took less time for them to catch up to the real guy. Or type out the title.
The Brave One: Still hanging around theaters. Jodie Foster as Bernard Goetz with mascara. Or is that redundant?
Dinner last night: Chicken Piccata.
1 comment:
Ah, memories of riding the number 12 bus down Fordham Road. As a kid I took it to Orchard Beach (also known as Horseshit Beach). As a college student I rode it to Fordham. The bus did pass the RKO, the Valentine and that little theatre near Jerome Ave. (name escapes me).
There's a wonderful photo of a young Tony Curtis (aka Bernie Schwartz) standing outside the RKO.
The RKO, I believe, shows up in Marty.
The 12 bus was also the way to reach White Castle and the Bronx Zoo. Who needed a car?
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