The Wednesday Before Super Sunday and Super Tuesday

Remember when "super" referred to the guy who fixed your toilet.

---Speaking of which, nothing has clogged up our sewers more than the catcalling candidates for the Democratic nomination.

---If the Republican Party is supposed to be the one of sexism and bigotry, how come it's the Democrats who are so good at both?

---All of a sudden, Bill Clinton thinks he's Don Rickles at the Sahara. Either he's really loyal to his wife. Or there's a cute White House intern he's got his eye on.

---And Ba-lack Osama is no better. He's played the race card more than Carol Channing has sung "Hello Dolly."

---Oh, so African-Americans do know how to go out to vote?

---I heard this sound bite on the news this morning. They were interviewing some African-American lady on her voting choice in California's upcoming primary.

---"I ain't voting for Obama because he's Black. I'se voting for him because he's intelligent and knows how to talk good."

---This is a woman who is judging a level of intellect???

---I'll take two books of stamps, please.

---In the picture attached above, do you think Fat Teddy is giving him his drink order?

---How completely and utterly stupid is the state of Massachusetts, who have kept re-electing this gin-soaked waste for the past 40 or so years?

---Maybe Teddy is telling Obama Bin Laden what really happened to Mary Jo at the bridge.

---I love that this fat load, clearly the dumbest of all the Kennedy children (and that includes the retarded one they exiled to Minnesota years ago), loves to tout civil rights, but lives in a state that is whiter than the walls at Bellevue Hospital. And you know that the only minorities found in his neighborhood are carrying trays.

---I got a weird e-mail from the California Board of Election, reminding me that I registered as a "decline to state" voter. Makes it seem like I did something wrong by calling myself an Independent.

---But I am allowed to ask for a Democratic ballot and I will.

---And I will hold my nose and vote for Hillary.

---Because I don't need to be hearing my father's comments from the great beyond.

---"I can't believe you voted for that spook."

---Well, my record's intact. I never watched a single one of Bush's State of the Union addresses.

---I got caught in one of the many torrential downpours in Southern California last Saturday night. I felt like I was on Disneyland's Splash Mountain ride. Without the log.

---And this wardrobe tip: Wet cashmere smells.

---Speaking of thrill rides, I was in a movie theater lobby and, for the first time ever, I saw a disclaimer posted at the box office.

---If you were buying tix for Cloverfield, you are reminded that the jerky handheld camera movements could make patrons ill as if they are on a rollercoaster.

---While they were at it, why couldn't they just tell us that the movie also sucks?

---From a pot on the baseball hot stove: With the Mets' acquisition of Johan Sebastian Santana, they have almost completed a totally Hispanic starting rotation for 2008. They are pressing righthander Maine to change his first name to Juan.

---Santana is a proven pitcher, but who's left in their minor leagues? Galen Cisco?

---With the exciting Giants in the Super Bowl, I may actually have to break my 26 year embargo of the game and watch the freakin' thing.

---It all depends what's on at the same time on Turner Classic Movies.

---Or whether or not there's a particularly tough Sudoku puzzle in the Los Angeles Times.

---Usually on Super Bowl Sunday, I find the longest movie in the local theater. The only other people there are old ladies and gay men.

---But I'm dying to see New England get taken down a peg. After years of whining about losing, the super successful Patriots and now the big bully Red Sox now make that whole area of the country annoying.

---And they've been voting for Kennedy since 1895, so that's strike three in my book.

---Senator Kennedy, your vote is?

---Hiccup.

Dinner last night: Turkey pastrami reuben sandwich from the Cheesecake Factory.