Earthquake! - A Photo Essay

If the title of today's entry gave you a jolt, don't sweat it. You didn't miss any breaking news from CNN.

What you did miss last week was a great reminder of why film buffs should live in Los Angeles. Because there is no other city in this country that has the ability to do what the American Cinematheque and the stately but recently renovated Egyptian Theater movie palace did for its members. An opportunity to once again see the epic disaster movie "Earthquake" complete with the Academy Award winning Sensurround process that shook movie houses to their rafters when it was originally released in 1974. Who knew that a 35 year-old movie would become the highlight of my holiday vacation?

And people welcomed this film's return with very open arms. The theater was packed. While I was in the lobby before the movie, I heard the theater manager telling ticketbuyers on the end of the line "sorry, no dice." It was a gala night, almost as if you were attending the original world premiere. And, frankly, I can't remember whether the Yonkers Central Plaza complex (where I think I first saw "Earthquake") even had the Sensurround hook-up. But, in Hollywood, all is possible. In 1974. And in 2009.

Before we go over the screening, let's look at some of the sights (and my digital pictures) of the Egyptian Theater, first built in the 1920s and now brought back to ever loving life in the new century. Here's another delicious Len Speaks photo essay. Of course, when you go to the Egyptian on Hollywood Boulevard, make sure you don't walk past it.Because you would then run into this ultra creepy Christmas display sponsored by the Scientologists.

Of course, with this brightly lit marquee, it is impossible to miss the Egyptian. Unless, of course, you're either blind or from Oklahoma.

The parking lot for the Egyptian is behind the theater and it's always a curiosity. If you get there early before the film for perhaps a bite to eat, the parking is ten bucks, gleefully taken by some Russian thief who sits there all night with a portable Direct TV hook-up.

After the movie, the price has remarkably gone up five dollars, primarily because Vladimir the thief is trying to price-gouge the twenty-something nightclub goers on the next block.

The stately courtyard of the Egyptian Theater, lovingly restored to its glory days.

There's a very bizarre sign in the box office window. Frankly, it's okay with me if the theater management deigns to be discriminating. But, just how bad a character are you if they refuse your admission to a movie??

If you're French and don't speak English, have no fear. The Egyptian had a poster outside customized just for you. Sorry, but Jerry Lewis was apparently not available to be in the "Earthquake" cast.

Good news. English is also spoken at the Egyptian.

Complete with this warning from the film's original release. So, if you're one of the lucky ones that the Egyptian will let in despite their posted right to refuse service to you, they still don't give a shit if the sound system makes you puke on the person in front of you.

Indeed, the Sensurround process used the other night is not as elaborate as you think. Essentially, the bass is turned up on the subwoofers and you pretty much feel like your noisy neighbors are having another one of their loud parties. The turned up volume shakes the theater and that gives you the sensation of an earthquake. Every time they used it last weekend, the sellout crowd applauded wildly, despite being told beforehand that there was a devastating shaker earlier that day in Indonesia. Of course, given the building codes in that country, a 7.5 earthquake probably results in property damage of about six bucks.

The audience was primed for fun right from the first frame of the Universal Studios logo. Okay, truth be told, "Earthquake" is a bad movie. The script is ridiculous. The casting suggests that the director was strung out on LSD when auditions were held. A bloated Ava Gardner, at the age of 50, plays Lorne Greene's daughter and he's only 7 years older at the time. Indeed, he looks the most fit of anybody in the cast, but, without Hoss and Little Joe around to help, he dies from a heart attack after lowering his entire office staff down the side of a building with some pantyhose. Charlton Heston's toupee appears crooked in one scene where he is hiding under a jeep. Victoria Principal, in one of her first screen roles, sports an Afro wig from the Angela Davis collection. George Kennedy, in his pre-Breath Asure days, always appears as if he just ate some bad Yankee Pot Roast at the commissary. And, of course, evangelist Marjoe Gortner begins and ends his ignoble film career by playing a crazed National Guardsman and looks like he's prepping for a role in "Kent State: The Movie."

Yet, amid all this mess, "Earthquake" remains a classic. Decades before CGI, the special effects are real and remarkable. Ultimately, a good script and decent acting are not needed in this film. All you really want is a couple of good shakes and some styrofoam boulders landing on a bunch of bit players and "Earthquake" does deliver just that. Last weekend's crowd cheered every time one of the cast members made their first appearance on screen. Even veteran character Lloyd Nolan got a hand when he finally showed up as a doctor in the third act. (I don't think I've ever seen him play anything but a physician)

The biggest ovation was accorded the then-young co-star Genevieve Bujold who introduced the screening in person. She talked glowingly of the film's cast and then extolled "God bless cinema and long live Barack Obama!" I'm still puzzled by the connection, unless, of course, the incoming President will be played on-screen by Tyler Perry. But, to her credit, Genevieve climbed to a seat and watched the entire movie with us.
And then she greeted all fans with hands in the lobby afterwards.

"Earthquake" is a lousy movie from the days when Hollywood even made those types of films better. At the end of the evening, I had enjoyed two hours of campy entertainment in a type of movie palace that is long gone in most other areas of the country. With an audience that appreciated both the movie and the venue.

My film appreciation shaken to the core one more time.

Dinner last night: Homemade pot roast with mashed potatoes and roasted carrots.