Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Wednesday and Pugsley

And, of course, there's me...Cousin Itt.

---I love the news from those screwballs at Habitats for Humanity. Those idiots commandeered by Jimmy Carter who built a bunch of houses from scratch.

---Well, most of them have fallen down by now. Those still standing are full of insects and mildew.

---Because when you want an expert carpenter, the first call should not be to one of the worst Presidents in American History.

---A lot of Jimmy's helpers were Hollywood set builders and they're used to erecting only the fronts of buildings. Plus everything they work on is constructed to last no more than one week past the wrap party.

---There was a rise in emergency room visits during the holidays as multiple assholes injured themselves trying to get Wii fit.

---Suggestion from Yours Truly: If you have trouble turning a page in a book, you probably shouldn't be doing aerobics on command from your computer.

---Show of hands, please: Who really gives a shit about what those Obama kids had for lunch on their first day at school?

---How the hell do you make fun of a fellow classmate if there's a Secret Service agent hovering nearby? Takes all the excitement out of grade school.

---And forget about stealing their clothes during gym class.

---Al Franken is going to the Senate. This just goes to show that strung-out cokeheads can have a future.

---I was startled by Caroline Kennedy's recent TV interview. Who knew that the brother was the smarter of the two?

---Of course, an IQ is not necessary to become the Democratic senator from NY. That bunch would find some rationale to elect Adolf Hitler if he was in the party.

---"Well, after all, art school can be very demanding."

---"The hair and moustache isn't that bad."

---"One million or so Jews exterminated? An isolated incident and obviously a rush to judgment."

---Watching the Kennedy Center Honors as I do every year, it was amazing to see just how far they sat Streisand away from the President.

---Bush seemed to be segregated at the end as if he got a bum deal on Stubhub.

---Babs looked awful on camera. I guess that's what happens when you dine with Republicans.

---When is Oprah going to do Jenny Craig?

---I meant the diet, not the woman.

Well, if my New Year's resolution was to be less nasty in 2009, I guess I barely made it to one week.

Dinner last night: Bacon and cheese omelette at the Cheesecake Factory.




1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Less nasty" in 2009? Do I get a vote on this? I was hoping you'd make good on your jest to be "a bigger shit" this year. Do me one favor: don't cut Obama any slack.