Circa 1963. This was the first movie to play the stupendous Cinerama Dome in Hollywood. I got to see "Mad 4 World" there myself a few years ago and it was glorious.
Now back to reality. The dreck in the multiplexes as found in today's Los Angeles Times. It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world indeed. And, if you're looking for a good movie, a shitty one to boot.
Watchmen: Three hours of loud noise and special effects. Didn’t we see this all last summer with “The Dark Knight?” That idiot kid critic Ben Lyons, who is proving to be as stupid as his dad Jeffrey, called the comic book the movie is based on “one of the great pieces of American literature.” Obviously, this moron never read “Green Eggs and Ham?”
Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail: I actually have some White friends who went to see this. They are now White former friends. But they did try to get back into my good graces by saying it was the worst movie they ever saw. Just who the hell is Tyler Perry and why do we need him in this country?
He’s Just Not That Into You: Okay, I confess. I saw it. It wasn’t that bad, although you need to go with Archimedes in order to figure out all the subplots. There were two characters I was captivated with and I wanted to see fleshed out in their own movies. Jennifer Aniston as the lone unmarried sister in a big family. And I was dying to see more of Drew Barrymore as the world’s youngest fag hag.
Slumdog Millionaire: Still living off Oscar riches. I still didn’t like it. And, yes, that is my fnal answer.
Race to Witch Mountain: Disney updating another franchise and simultaneously ruining it by casting Dwayne :The Rock” Johnson. I can’t wait to see them cast him in the lead when they remake “Pollyanna.”
Sunshine Cleaning: From the producers of “Little Miss Sunshine” and they creatively use the word “sunshine” again. Wink, wink. It’s all about two sisters who go into the crime scene clean-up business. Does Lysol work on dried blood?
Phoebe in Wonderland: There’s apparently another Fanning child---Elle. Not to be confused by the French magazine of the same name. All about a little girl who blurs fantasy with reality. That’s me at work, honey.
Coraline: Okay, I confess. I saw it. One of those stick figure animations that was really, really creepy. Smart parents would leave the kids at home. At the screening I went to, there were a lot of stupid parents there. And you wonder why Junior is asking you for a steak knife and some Hefty bags?
Milk: Been there, drank that. Also out on DVD which is the better way to go for this movie, so your friends don’t have to see you in public rooting for the Josh Brolin character.
Crossing Over: Harrison Ford is in LA and he’s worried about illegal aliens. Who isn’t? Try the local car wash and take your pick.
The Last House on the Left: A couple gets revenge for a brutal assault on their daughter. What number “Death Wish” are we up to? And didn’t Charles Bronson already get his granted?
Moscow, Belgium: If you wonder why your kids are so stupid in school these days, just consider this title. That geography is only off by about 1000 miles.
The Reader: Still hovering around to get some dollars off Kate Winslet’s Oscar win. The movie is engrossing, albeit a trifle long. Bring tissue. And a cushion.
Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience: Well, at least the in-theater experience gets your daughter off Facebook for a couple of hours.
Confessions of a Shopaholic: I know people who loved this movie. They’re also way overdrawn on their Bloomie’s charge cards. Harvard Beats Yale 29-29: Sounds like a headline from the world's dumbest newspaper. Actually it's a documentary from some big game back in the 60s. So big that I apparently know nothing about it. The Edge of Love: Starcrossed lovers in World War II London. As if the bombs falling around them aren't enough, they have to screw around with all that romantic nonsense. Miss March: A bunch of teenage boys wreck the latest edition of Playboy. This will explain you why those pages are always stuck together. The Wrestler: See it. If not for Mickey Rourke's performance, then go to it as a lasting tribute to his dead dog. Gomorrah: As Annie sung on Broadway, the sun will come out... Everlasting Moments: Some love story set in 1911 Sweden and my eyes are drooping as I type this. Two Lovers: Gwyneth Paltrow comes out from under a rock and Joaquin Phoenix in allegedly his last film role. He moves on to singing and now there's another art form in which I can ignore him. The Cake Eaters: Is this the show that's on before The Biggest Loser? I hear it has nothing to do with cake. Or eating. Hollywood can be so freakin' clever. The Pink Panther 2: Still lingering around like diarrhea after a Mexican vacation. Another waste of Steve Martin. I went to a vintage double feature of "The Jerk" and "All of Me" last weekend. Now, that's Steve Martin in action. The International: All sorts of Interpol hijinx with Clive Owen, an actor that I never ever get.
Good luck finding anything amongst this list. Check out a classic film festival near you. From the days when movies were entertainment.
Dinner last night: Turkey meatloaf with macaroni.
4 comments:
Where are the posts this week? Is there a drought?
I also endorse "The Jerk" as the go-to flick for Steve Martin. The scene where he guesses your weight at the carnival is so laugh-out-loud funny, so inspired. The explanation of the prizes on the shelf is pure comic brilliance. And that outfit! A belated "Bravo" for Mr. Martin.
What are you talking about? I've posted every day this week.
"Harvard beats Yale 29-29" was indeed a famous football game, back in the era when the Ivy League was still regarded as big-time football. I remember listening to the last quarter, and I'd actually like to see the documentary (of course, I haven't been to a movie in more than five years, so if I were the producers, I wouldn't be waiting for me).
Len blogs. We post.
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