1540: WALTHAM ABBEY IS SURRENDERED TO KING HENRY VIII OF ENGLAND, THE LAST RELIGIOUS COMMUNITY TO BE CLOSED DURING THE DISSOLUTION OF THE MONASTERIES.
Who cares?? Downton Abbey is over.
1708: JAMES FRANCIS EDWARD STUART LANDS AT THE FIRTH OF FORTH.
Say that five times fast.
1775: AMERICAN REVOLUTION - PATRICK HENRY DELIVERS HIS "GIVE ME LIBERTY" SPEECH IN VIRGINIA.
....or give me death.
1801: TSAR PAUL I OF RUSSIA IS STRUCK WITH A SWORD, THEN STRANGLED, AND FINALLY TRAMPLED TO DEATH INSIDE HIS BEDROOM.
Sucks to be him. And just how many people could he get into his bedroom???
1806: AFTER TRAVELING THROUGH THE LOUISIANA PURCHASE AND REACHING THE PACIFIC OCEAN, EXPLORERS LEWIS AND CLARK BEGIN THEIR JOURNEY HOME.
Their "Hold Mail" was expiring.
1857: ELISHA OTIS' FIRST ELEVATOR IS INSTALLED AT 488 BROADWAY, NEW YORK CITY.
Hopefully it's been upgraded since then.
1868: THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA IS FOUNDED IN OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA WHEN THE ORGANIC ACT IS SIGNED INTO LAW.
At a Whole Foods, no doubt.
1888: IN ENGLAND, THE FOOTBALL LEAGUE, THE WORLD'S OLDEST PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, MEETS FOR THE FIRST TIME.
Okay, it's not football like you think.
1909: TEDDY ROOSEVELT LEAVES NEW YORK FOR A POST-PRESIDENCY SAFARI IN AFRICA.
There'll be some rough riding there, too.
1919: IN MILAN, ITALY, BENITO MUSSOLINI FOUNDS HIS FASCIST POLITICAL MOVEMENT.
Bad sign # 1.
1922: COMIC MARTY ALLEN IS BORN.
Hello dere.
1933: THE REICHSTAG PASSES THE ENABLING ACT OF 1933, MAKING ADOLF HITLER DICTATOR OF GERMANY.
Bad sign # 2.
1942: WORLD WAR II - IN THE INDIAN OCEAN, JAPANESE FORCES CAPTURE THE ANDAMAN ISLANDS.
Google Maps, please.
1953: SINGER CHAKA KHAN IS BORN.
I once saw her so drunk at an industry party that they nailed her dress to the wall so she could stand up.
1956: PAKISTAN BECOMES THE FIRST ISLAMIC REPUBLIC IN THE WORLD.
Bad sign # 3.
1958: ACTOR HUGH GRANT IS BORN.
Attention to all hookers on Sunset Boulevard.
1964: ACTOR PETER LORRE DIES.
Boy, was he creepy looking.....
1965: NASA LAUNCHES GEMINI 3, THE FIRST US TWO-MAN SPACE FLIGHT WITH GUS GRISSOM AND JOHN YOUNG ABOARD.
Spoiler alert: Gus Grissom doesn't last much longer.
1966: MY GRANDFATHER DIES.
One day after his birthday.
1977: THE FIRST OF THE NIXON-FROST INTERVIEWS ARE TAPED.
Good movie version by Ron Howard.
1983: PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN MAKES HIS INITIAL PROPOSAL TO DEVELOP TECHNOLOGY TO INTERCEPT ENEMY MISSILES.
I bet it was Nancy's idea.
2001: THE RUSSIAN MIR STATION IS DISPOSED OF, BREAKING UP IN THE ATMOSPHERE BEFORE FALLING TO THE EARTH NEAR FIJI.
Litterbugs.
2011: ACTRESS ELIZABETH TAYLOR DIES.
Yet, her damn perfume commercials are still on the air.
Dinner last night: Leftover sausage and peppers.
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