The Dodger Dog

If you read the ingredients of any package of Farmer John franks available in SoCal supermarkets, you'd probably reserve now for your colonoscopy.

But, indeed, there is no better marriage of the senses than this: a baseball game at Dodger Stadium on a warm night with a scorebook on your lap and a Dodger Dog in your hand. Of course, those of you around the country can substitute your team's frankfurter concoction and favorite baseball arena. It will certainly serve the purpose.

Yet, nothing works as well as the Dodger Stadium edition of this sensual carnival.

Sure, I had eaten hot dogs before at ballparks. The Shea variety was never anything special. A Kahn's all beef hot dog. If you were lucky, there would be squirt bottles of mustard. For a while, they gave out those little packages of relish and onions, which generally wound up adorning me instead of the wiener.

So, imagine my surprise when I learned how much better these suckers can be in Chavez Ravine. First off, depending upon the concession stand you visit, you get them steamed or grilled. (Always go for the latter and the all Beef Super Dodger Dog). Then, you pick your treat up and head over to the CONDIMENT TABLE. Yes, folks, fresh condiments. Trays of relish and onions that are regularly replenished. Slather it all on with mustard and ketchup.

Yes, New Yorkers, mustard and ketchup. You heard me. Don't scrunch your face like that at me. Ketchup does work on a hot dog. I know. I thought it was satanic, too, when I lived in NY. But, on one of my first Dodger games here, I saw some friends do it. You put mustard on one side of the dog. Then you lace some ketchup on the other side. It results in a flavor that I can't describe. Especially with the FRESH CONDIMENTS.

Okay, I am only good for one of these per game. And if you top it off with the GARLIC FRIES, you are at St. Peter's Gate.

You want to know how good these freakin' things are. Look at these stats which I found on the Wikipedia entry for "Dodger Dogs." (Yep, they are that famous) The source is the Hot Dog and Sausage Council. Yes, there is apparently such a thing.

Statistics
An average of 862,702 hot dogs are eaten per ballpark in 2004. top 10 hot dog eating ballparks in the 2004 season, with number of dogs eaten:
1. Dodger Stadium 1.61 million
2. Coors Field 1.5 million
3. Wrigley Field 1.47 million
4. Yankee Stadium 1.3 million
5. Minute Maid Park 1.2 million
6. Angel Stadium 1.1 million
7. Ameriquest Field 996,000
8. Metrodome 883,500
9. Jacobs Field 595,000
10. Camden Yards 400,000

I was surprised to see that Yankee Stadium was so high. The last time I was in that urinal, the hot dog was worse than the ones at Shea. It was like eating pink chalk. I took two bites and stuffed the rest of it into the handbag of some Yankee fan sitting in front of me.

I hear Shea creeped into the Top 10 in 2005, but they could do so much better in Flushing if only they had FRESH CONDIMENTS!

Dinner last night: I was at the Dodger 9-1 win over the Padres, so my dinner was....................................not a Dodger Dog. Last night, I opted for a grilled bratwurst decorated with the aformentioned FRESH CONDIMENTS. Dee-lish.