Dance 10, Wednesday 3

From A Chorus Line to A Picket Line, I am here for you.

---With most Broadway shows still crippled by the stagehands' walkout, those hillbillies visiting NY for Christmas now have to find some other classy venue to turn into their own personal mall food court.

---Now, you go to a Broadway show and you hear these hayseeds rustling their plastic bags as they all just came from dropping a bundle at the big M & M store.

---If you relish the quiet solitude of the Midwest, please stay there. Eventually Ruth Buzzi will show up there touring in something.

---Osama Bin Sleazeball has come out with another televised message.

---What a great gig for that production crew. They get steady work every couple of months.

---Osama has done enough of those broadcasts to go into syndication.

---I hope Bin Laden did his latest missive without a script. After all, there is still a writers strike.

---The five best words I have heard this week: Dancing With The Stars Finale.

---Except it comes right back for the second half of the season like a lingering sinus infection.

---I swear that the talent coordinators for that show hang around a car wash on Ventura to see who hasn't worked in five years.

---And Tom Bergeron has to be one of the most annoying men on television. He has all the guile of a supermarket manager cleaning up a spill on Aisle 7.

---Every time I see one of these hacks hosting a TV program, I long for the days of Johnny Carson.

---Here's a Carnac joke that might be done if the real Tonight Show was still on the air.

---Answer: The Malibu Wildfires and Angelina Jolie.

---Envelope rrrrip.

---Question: Name two things that have driven Jennifer Aniston out of her home.

---Rim shot.

---So, Al Snore went to see Bush when the latter hosted all the Nobel Prize winners.

---Fatso finally got to the Oval Office. Now, he knows where you can find the really hot air.

---I cannot start my day without going through a newspaper. Which, of course, makes me a rarity today as those daily publications are drying up like crazy.

---If you want to know why, just look at the headline on Tuesday's USA Today: Redskins Sean Taylor in Critical Condition.

---By the time I read it, he was already dead.

---Now, that newspaper was sitting in hotels all over America all day Tuesday and the news was already old.

---The local news here had two dumbass women fistfighting over a spot in line to drag their urchins up to see Santa Claus.

---Have yourself a Philistine Christmas.

Dinner last night: French Dip at Cafe 50s Diner.