Here I am, fresh from another crosscountry bacterial carrier.
---The picture above is one of those germ strains sweeping the country. It's become this big deal in Los Angeles. They're calling it the "superbug," which results in some nasty skin infections.
---It's called MRSA and it stands for some long condition that nets you over 100 points in Scrabble.
---Apparently, you can get it in hospitals, which, except for the lime jello, are allegedly sterile.
---I heard about it months ago when my good friend, a hale and hearty health professional, got it. She was in the hospital for a week.
---How the hell in the year 2007 do these ultra resistant strains spread? Well, it's all embedded in the whole motto that has been our country's mantra for years.
---Give us your tired, your poor...
---...your infected.
---If Michael Moore thinks the health care is so bitchin' better in Europe, how come you never hear about any of these diseases going from the United States to there? It's always the other way around.
---They tell us one of the ways to guard against MRSA is to wash your hands.
---Wash your hands. That's apparently for those of you out there who don't.
---Only in our world today is cleanliness an added precaution to disease.
---By the way, a memo please to the guy sneezing like crazy on my flight yesterday.
---Your hand is attached to your arm and it does amazing things. For instance, you can move it toward your mouth!
---By the way, if you want to see just how stupid a country we are, hang around any airline's self service check-in and watch how totally confused people get. I saw some idiot yesterday try to retrieve her travel itinerary by using a Sears credit card.
---Coming back from San Diego last weekend, the car radio was loaded with lots of fun disco music. And I kept hearing that song "Forget Me Nots."
---"I'm sending you forget me-nots. To help you to remember."
---That's the whole song. Two lousy lines. Over and over and over.
---That has to be the laziest damn songwriter in history.
---Wouldn't it be great if the four or five teams that could actually afford Alex Rodriguez would tell him to go scratch? But they won't.
---With this guy, you can get a phenomenal ballplayer still in his prime.
---And a guy who hangs around in strip clubs. Has a slut wife who wears profane t-shirts. Slaps the ball out of opposing players' hands. And goes "ooga booga" to scare somebody trying to catch a pop up.
---It would also be dee-lish to see agent Scott Bore Ass get his as well.
---By the way, in the free agent market, there are 11 players who will be named shortly for steroids. Caveat emptor.
---One more casualty of the writer's strike: those award shows may be impacted. There's nobody to write those brilliant things that the presenters always read from the teleprompters.
---Okay, there's a vote for the producing side.
---Maybe they could hire the person who wrote...
---"I'm sending you forget me-nots. To help you to remember."
---The hot news from Disneyland. They have to shut down "It's a Small World" for 10 months, because the boats are hitting bottom in certain spots.
---Oh, Disney said all the polite things. Blaming it on physics and residue on the bottom of the canals.
---Give me a break. The reason why the boats are getting keelhauled is because all the riders, on an average, each weigh 25 pounds more than they did when the ride was built 40 years.
---It may be a small world, but it's a fat country.
---I don't know why you need that ride anymore. Just go to any shopping mall on a Saturday afternoon.
Dinner last night: Grilled chicken and vegetables with teriyaki sauce.
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